I recently told my niece (over a lovely phone conversation that caught us up on all things old, new, and current in our lives) that I like order.  Not in all things, but I do like a sense of knowing what is to come, having a vision, and predicting what may transpire due to careful planning.

"What is it You want me to know about You?"
"What is it that You are trying to teach me?"
"What needs to grow bigger in my life since You are leading me down this path?"
"Where are the lessons You need me to see?"

Embracing a new year isn't for the faint of heart.  Embracing the beginning of a new date on the calendar requires a letting go of what has occurred during the last 12 months.  You can't look backward and try to move forward.

There are things that have taken place on 2018 calendar dates that I'd rather soon forget.  They brought me pain.  In order to neatly file away the past in a way that brings health, I've got to deal with the hurt.  Dealing with those things that shook my foundation is critical.  I've learned that I tend to deal with transition in two ways:  I mourn ahead of time or I look back afterward with longing for what could/should/might have been.

Walking with Jesus and utilizing the power and wisdom of the Holy Spirit, I'm learning that mourning ahead of time is a waste.  For months, I anticipated what saying goodbye to my beloved Vienna might look like.  I cried.  I was sad.  I held on to a passing event way too long.  Now, looking back from this side of the transition, it was all OK.  God had spoken some very clear promises to us ahead of time that we held on to during the goodbyes.  Yes, it was hard.  Yes, it didn't feel good.  But, yes, we transitioned experiencing HIS presence.  He was what made it all OK!

How?  When I cried, I also remembered a promise that He would be with us in our new place.  When I held on to an event too long, I remembered that in Him there is always more to come.  He pursues me with good and loving kindness and I don't have to hold on to the present joy for fear another joy won't come.  That's not His character.  More joys, more than I can think or image, will come.  He is a good and trustworthy Father!

Embracing a new year also requires vision and expectation.  However, sometimes our eyes lack the 20/20 perspective we need to see clearly and we expect things that are unrealistic.

We have a vision of a place called Fahrenheit House.  It will be a place we live, we office out of for our nonprofit, and we host those who come for refuge and restoration.  In my head, I've had a specific place in mind.  Well, that place has a contract offered on it.  Looks like it may not be the place I had so clearly, with limited 20/20 vision, expected would be ours.  However, I am refocusing.  Perhaps another house is Fahrenheit House.  Perhaps a personal home with a side home for nonprofit and refuge use is part of a plan.  Perhaps ... something else.  Because things did not turn out like I thought I had a clear picture of (20/20 from my perspective) doesn't mean God got it right and I got it wrong.  It means I don't have all the information.  It means God is still so very good and I get to walk with a Father who will direct my steps, who will guide me and give me direction, and who will never leave me or forsake me!

I am expecting things for 2019.  However, it would be unrealistic to think that all things will be good, all things will be rosy and wrapped in pretty packages and filed way with neat and tidy outcomes.  Hogwash.  Whatever comes to me in 2019, it will come to me, allowed by a good Father for my good, not to harm me.  He has already provided an answer and a blessing for my obedience in whatever comes my way.  In the meantime, I am learning to savor today.  Today is the reality.  Today is the promise.  Today I will learn and live and act toward whatever He is doing.  Tomorrow is not promised. He is here today.  He will be there tomorrow.  He was in yesterday.  When I center my expectations, reflect on the past and look forward to the future through the lens of His presence ... specific details seem to be less important.  It's the relational one-on-one that raises as most important.

I'm not going to pre-mourn.  I'm not going to hold on too tightly to the good.  I'm not going to try to figure it all out.  I am going to stay in today.  I am going to trust His word.  I am going to react through His promises and not the reality.  I am going to trust that whatever I will walk through, He has gone before me and has made a way for me to walk through it.

May we all become more like Him.  May we dare to trust Him in ways we've never trusted before.  May we all see His hand in our days.  And may we be courageous enough to boast of the things He has done at the end of 2019!

Happy New Year,
Christina

 This was an imperfect Christmas - and I'm perfectly glad!  The guilt I felt for reducing our gifts under the tree to virtually nothing mounted as Christmas Eve neared and my youngest kept glancing in hopes of a late arrival to be discovered under the tree.  As I stuffed the handful of tiny gifts into each girls stocking in preparation for Christmas morning, I flip flopped on my minimalistic ideals.  Come Christmas morning when one bag with three large papers sticking out the top which represented three days of memories as gifts was the only semblance of holiday cheer awaiting our girls, I second-guessed my desire to do something different.

Chris and I had gone on mission days ahead of time preparing the Memory Gifts.  The night before, we assembled 3 large papers to be unwrapped.  The first day was a surprise trip to Salzburg where, in my humble opinion, it's always Christmas.  In order for them to discover what MEMORY #1 entailed they had to put together a puzzle.  We had taken poster-sized paper and written "Salzburg Road Trip:  complete with a rental car" in which we cut up into giant puzzle pieces that needed to be assembled to reveal the gift.  MEMORY #2 was a trip to a nearby border town in Hungary for a Spa Day!  In order for these girls to discover their gift they had to play "Snowman Hangman" on another giant sized paper.  Each girl had been scheduled a full-body massage and a pedicure.  Then, finally, MEMORY #3 was a treasure hunt.  Chris and I wrote a 10 line "riddle".  At the end of each line came a clue that sent our girlies on a hunt to find an envelope.  Each envelope contained money in which they got to spend during a Family Shopping Day.

During the morning, as the excitement began to build over each "reveal", confirmation came that this was exactly the "perfect" kind of experience I wanted to create for our family.  I could go on and on about the specifics of each day:  the coffee, the meals, the weather, the things purchased, the things seen but all would pale in comparison to the simple things that were given as hidden gifts among the intended gift.  The being together ... all together.  The singing of childhood songs during our road trip that flooded all of our minds with memories of long ago when road trips were common and songs learned then had now lodged deep into memory banks that had collected interest too numerous to be counted.  The slipping of one hand into another during the day just to say "I love you".  The expression of a whispered thank you by a daughter to a parent as we walked together.  The exchange of a tearful and grateful glance between my Chris and I as we witnessed the beautiful sounds of girls giggling.

Truly the key to this season was the decision that "perfect" is simply taking in the moment as it comes ... and not trying to push a plan, work an ideal, or force a pretension.  Take it in.  Take it as it comes.  Take it with all it's imperfection.  Take it ... just take it ... and be grateful.  It proved to be a perfect gift in all simplicity and imperfection.

This Christmas has set me on a course that will be a guiding directive for this New Year.  As I said before Christmas:

I'm letting go.  I'm trusting the God of the Universe to be the same "perfect" God that He was to virgin Mary to be the same "perfect" God for me.  He set events into motion that were "perfect".  He made the circumstances "perfect" by His presence.  When I choose to invite His presence into every detail of my holiday, every moment becomes put into perspective by a loving God who desires all things for my good, to prosper me - not harm me, to give me hope.  When I set aside my fear of what could, should, might be ... "perfect" peace rushes in. 

I am not a fortune teller.  I have no idea what this year brings.  In the mystery of what comes next, I will choose to remain in a place of rest and a place of peace.  Things will not be perfect.  Things will, however, be in perfect perspective when I choose to invite God into every detail of every day.

Happy New Year ... with new lessons,
Christina

This is NOT a New Years Resolution.  (Don't get me started on my thoughts about New Years Resolutions - attempts to strive harder, be more, achieve greater ... agh!  I'm pretty sure I have other blogs in my Archive list about my inner thoughts on the subject.)

However, this year I did start a new journey toward discovery, born out of a deep desire to know the One I've committed my life to in a brand new way.  "40 Days with the Holy Spirit" by R.T. Kendall has led me to know the third person of the Divine Trinity of God - the Holy Spirit.  In my religious upbringing, I heard next to nothing about Him.  In my years in a mainstream denomination, the Holy Spirit was neglected in those circles as well ... feared, strange, and something fanatical.  Now, in the last year, I've entered into a romance with this third person ... the Holy Spirit ... that has brought new life, fresh water, and bubbling enthusiasm that can not be contained.

One thing I know and have experienced in the past, but now on a regular basis, is the way the Holy Spirit "speaks" to my Spirit.  That's one of His roles ... to bring wisdom and revelation.  So this morning, the Holy Spirit spoke to my little ol' heart while reading a very familiar paragraph.

There is a woman worn by life called "the Samaritan woman".  She comes to the watering hole to get her water ... coming at a time when others have left and she won't be the object of their cruel affections.  She has a past, after-all.

She meets with and has a conversation with Jesus.  He's real.  He's open.  He's direct.  He's not judgemental, harsh, or pious like her fellow countrymen.  

It's here I had this "revelation" from the Holy Spirit.  It's after she has her encounter with Jesus that she leaves her water jug behind and runs to the village to tell others what she has experienced.

What had she come to the well for ... water.  What did she leave at the well ... water.  Hmmm.  What she had come in search for she left behind after she had an encounter with Jesus.

Real life application here for me, a Wife, Mom, and Traveler on this planet:  the very thing I "come to the well" for is no longer needed after I've had an encounter with Jesus.

For me, "coming to the well" is a place of being worn out, needing a place to hide, being totallly "done".  I may think I need ... rest, food, a friend, a drink, a phone call, a work out, a spa day, a hug ... when what I need is Jesus. How many mornings have I held my cup of excellent coffee, sat in my chair, and stared out my window in search of answers to my deepest questions.  I may sit there, calling out to God to solve some problem, answer some prayer, provide much needed comfort.  That's my water jug.  When after an encounter with Him ... which looks like the Spirit wrapping Himself around my aching heart and bringing wisdom and love and acceptance and reducing fear and anxiety and stress ... I no longer need what I came in search of ... I have more than I need because of the encounter.

I love that Jesus told this woman He would give her "living water".  Living means alive.  When I know my Spirit has heard from God ... through the person of the Holy Spirit ... it's then I feel most alive.  The jugs I've brought that needed to be filled ... get filled ... and overflow.  Problems may not be solved ... questions still left unanswered ... but they pale in vast comparison to the experience of the encounter ... the experience of having met the "Living Water" that fills my deepest needs in the deepest places of my heart.

40 days and counting,
christina

I slept with an onion on my foot last night.  Don't judge me.  Onions are natural toxin soaker uppers (I read it on Facebook - again - don't judge!).  I have had some nasty virus plaguing my body for 5 days and decided desperate times called for desperate measures ... hence the onion.  My foot smells like body odor and my room smells like there has been a pot roast cooking in a crock pot for a really long time ... but ... I feel better!

A new year.  We recently attended a dinner party.  The host for our evening went around and asked his guests what had been the single-most exciting/inspiring/challenging event of 2014.  I had a list of experiences that could be exciting/inspiring/challenging.  Honestly, most of them fit into the challenging category.  As I chewed on his question, that night and for the next several nights to come, I stumbled quite innocently on a life principle.  Life is hard.

Because LIFE is hard, we were given more than adequate tools to combat those challenges on planet earth by a loving, powerful, intelligent, practical, and imaginative Father.  Not one of my "challenges" that I faced in 2014 overcame me ... killed me ... left me for dead on a dark highway ... caused permanent damage ... shook the world on it's axis ... robbed me of my family ... left me alone ... or sucked the life plum out of me.  Looking back ... I can say that rather pragmatically.  However, at the time, there was nothing pragmatic about my hurt ... or they way it affected my heart.

In 2014 I:

• lived on 2 different continents
• moved 5,324 from my closest friends and family
• resigned a job
• started a business
• moved 3 times
• changed my hairstyle a couple of different times
• experienced a hurt there are no words for
• watched one daughter enter high school
• bought starter bra's for another daughter
• and left an adult daughter standing at an airport while I climbed on a plane to move far, far away ... while she was left behind.

What I said during that dinner party was simple.  During all the ups  ... there were plenty ... I was most struck by the lessons learned during the "down".  When I found myself unable to sleep, worried, questioning the wisdom of a Father who runs the world at his whisper command, I found Him to be ... enough!

The hurt still stung, but just like my onion remedy, the toxins of the situation were removed ... leaving an aroma that my situation had been affected and directed by Christ ... by God ... by the presence of His Spirit.

One thing I know for sure, 2015 will bring hard LIFE.  I'm a fool to think otherwise.  However, hard LIFE has already been given REAL tools by the Spirit of God.  I am more than adequate to tackle whatever it brings.  My goal is to roll with it ... to allow God's Spirit to so change and mold and transform and repurpose all situations that are allowed in my life to bring HIM glory.  May the aroma of HIM surround my life ... like my onion remedy still lingers in my room!

scrubbing away onion juice from my foot,
christina

Due to the fact that January is just a natural time to regroup, reconnect, reorganize and step in different directions, I'm reading.  I love to read.  I love to read good stuff.  I especially love to read good stuff by authors I just happen to know.  This is the case with my new years' read:  Digesting Grief:  Comfort Food Beyond Cliches by Irene Nielson.

My relationship with Irene began as a child living in Great Falls, Montana.  My Dad's career as an Air Force man moved us to Big Sky country when I was in the second grade.  Sometime after, the Nielson's became family friends (see blog post on Oct. 13, 2013 entitled #191) and their two daughters kindred spirits.  Many moves and years later found Irene sitting in my Dad's living room recently, catching me up to speed on her life.  As a result, this book found it's way into my hands ... and now her words are sinking into my heart.

Irene writes this after knowing great grief, the loss of a 27 year old daughter to cancer.  Out of her pain, darkness, tears, questions, she writes an honest account of one who is trying to figure out this God she's followed for years but who has taken her quite by surprise.

"There's a place for grief ... a place to be perfected in love where we learn the value of trusting god without having all the answers ... yet.  Grief is good ... I can say that now." p. 29

I've not lost a person ... I think I'm grieving something I can not see.  Watching children grow up, parents age, my own ideals about life morph, those I love experience deep hurt ... it's all kind of caused a grief process.  And now, as I find myself in a place of rest, I sense a grieving.

Isn't that the story of all of us?  At one point or another, we stumble onto the fact that there are things that happen that go beyond our understanding, our tidy solutions, our plan.  It stumps us, throws us, upsets our way of thinking and causes us to rethink ... everything.  Irene writes of discovering God in a way that without having walked through grief she would not have known Him.  That's my hope as I read and let her words fall in my heart.

Reading and listening,
christina

Digesting Grief:  Comfort Food Beyond Cliches
Copyright 2009 by Irene S. Nielson
Steeple Books

To find out more about Irene Nielson, visit:  www.hisink.com

I loathe trends.  Trends in fashion (sorry girls ... skinny jeans are made for skinny girls with no fat on any part of their body and should never, ever be worn by anyone who is larger than ... a twig ... a very skinny twig.)  Trends in music (just give classic James Taylor and no one gets hurt!)  Trends in religion (don't get me started ... too much to say so I won't say anything.)  Trends in speaking patterns (valley girl, blonde jokes, just sayin', bad, the bomb, totally ... let's just speak the King's English!).

I mostly abhor trends in making new years resolutions.  I'm sorry.  It just gets on my nerves!  It's already a step-back to say on January 1 that your past year came up short in one area ... weight loss ... reading ... goal setting ... relationships ... letter writing ... too much of this ... not enough of that ... agh!  I am all for stepping up your game, improving that which is inadequate, doing your best ... yadda, yadda, yadda.  However, let's not set ourselves up for failure!

Now, after saying all that ... let me say this.  I love a new start.  Every January 1, I buy myself a new journal. I usually accompany that journal with a new pen.  It's a natural time to start something new.  I love expecting that as of January 1 ... I am charting a new path, gaining new marching orders, living some sort of new dream that has been established just for me - exclusively.

This morning under grey skies and a nip in the air because I'm too lazy to turn on the room heater and weird enough to love the bite that comes with the cold ... I'm writing in my new journal.  I'm starting the year off by writing a letter ... to God.  I've learned that when I write, I consciously try to write as if I know no one will ever read what has been written on these sacred pages ... ever ... and I can say (write) whatever comes to mind ... however daunting, shocking, loving, honest and real.  This activity alone has probably saved me thousands of dollars in counseling and medication!  It's not self help.  It's not unhealthy dependence on some unknown force.  It's not putting hope in some activity that will bring a state of well-being.  It's my relationship with a real person ... who just happens to be ... God.

I've been reading the Bible all my life.  However, when I was 20 years old, something happened to me. I had an encounter with this God that seemed like a fictional character and something only others could identify with.  It was after this encounter that something alive happened.  When I picked up the Bible, I saw new things.  Not trends.  New principles.  New ways of living.  New ideas that went against culture.  New mindsets.  It set my life on fire ... a fire that now 24 years later still burns within me.

This morning ... I believe that what I am reading in the Bible ... these radical concepts:  love your enemies ... don't judge others ... don't condemn others ... forgive others ... will continue to do a new thing in my life ... even after all these years.  A relationship with God ... begins, everyday ... new.  I am always in a position of a student.  I am always amazed at the refreshing of a holy God loving me and realigning my attitude to be one that mirrors His.

Now, if you are a trend-setter ... a new year's resolution kind of person ... please be blessed and don't hold a grudge against me!  You go on with your trend-setting self ... and your resolutions ... and may you fit into those skinny jeans and work it!  However, I am gonna stick to my routine that sometimes rocks my world, brings me to my knees or elevates me to the heavens.  I'm gonna continue to discover and rediscover this one I'm in a relationship with for the long haul ... and see new things through His eyes.  It's an adventure.  It's a challenge.  It's a time commitment.  It's ... a journey that will occupy most of my waking hours all throughout this new year.

The beginning of a new year always brings a natural transition.  This is an especially "transitionally" year for us Elledge's.

Chris and Parker enjoying a cheap coffee break @ McCafe!

• Our oldest graduates from High School
• We take a 6 month furlough away from "home" to go to a place our girls don't really remember as "home".
• We will return home minus one family member.

Other than that ... life is forecasted to be quite "normal".  However, we all know, "normal" is always changing.  The only "normal" thing about life is the changing.

Libby, Addison and me ... making faces @ Chris and Parker @ McCafe!

I have a friend, Rachel.  She's "mature" in years.  She's beautiful.  She has piercing blue eyes and even more piercing questions.  I've learned to listen to her.  I listen because she has learned what it means to walk a journey well.  And, she's learned who to walk her journey with ... well.

I got the following email from her.  You have to read it:

My World continues to shrink and I note how fast it turns. I've long since given up trying to keep up with the latest trades, terrorists, trends, trips and technicality. God in His unique economy allows my limited and feeble investment to grow and multiply. Seeds I planted and young sprouts, I nourished have matured and flourished. My meager investment in the kingdom has brought me much joy and satisfaction.
    This Holy Season I'll focus and concentrate on the reality of my relationship with my Redeemer, Jesus Christ realizing that this relationship monitors and dictates all other relationships. With the new additions this month of my two latest great grand daughters our family has grown to 40.
    This year I sent no cards so my dear friends 
                                       I wish you Love beyond measure, Joy overflowing,
                                       Peace within as we celebrate the birth of Christ.

Her words seemed exceptionally "piercing" this year as I continue to emerge from my "weak" season with poor health.  I've heard the voice of the one that loves me most continue to tell me to be weak ... in my new found and ever increasing strength.  Weird.  Yet, it fits the advice of this one I have built my life on ... my future on.

As I ease into 2013, with a baggy sweatshirt on, no make-up, a quiche and baked apples in the oven and nothing planned but an afternoon nap ... transition will come and go.  Normal will come and go.  Right now ... I'm just gonna focus on the wisdom of my dear Rachel ... and focus and concentrate on the reality of the relationship with my Redeemer.  Good advice from a woman who has lived it ... well.

Yep. It's official. We are moved into our new place. We packed personal stuff on Monday, Dec. 26th. We packed all the rest on Tuesday, Dec. 27th. Movers came on Wednesday, Dec. 28th and Thursday, Dec. 29th. And, here I sit this morning in my new place with just a small list of things to do to put the final touches on making this place our "home". We've cleaned and packed and unpacked and cleaned until our hands are red and bones are tired ... but ... it's done!


We "officially" said goodbye to our neighbors. It was such a bitter sweet thing, something I wasn't really prepared to experience. As we wiped out the last gunga (personal term of endearment for stuff unidentified, usually green, that is left in the bottom of the fridge) and closed the door for the last time of what was my home, I made the trek over to my neighbors house where she prepared me and my family a coffee.

That one cup of coffee helped me push through any sadness and move on towards an attitude of hopefulness. Sound a bit dramatic? Good. That was the intended effect. However, it is dramatic when looking at it through my lens.

American’s are friendly. We are quick to invite the paper boy in for a glass of milk, quick to offer a stranger a lift, quick to make small talk with the fellow customer in the line at Wal-Mart, quick to start a conversation in the bathroom yet slow to really reach into our emotional bank reserves and build a relationship that could potentially cost us something. Overt friendliness is a safety net that keeps us busy with lots of pretentious “relationships” and bankrupt with really deep levels of intimates.

Austrians are not that way. After living in my former flat for a few months shy of 3 years, this was the first time my neighbor invited me in for coffee.

However, one cup of coffee means that my attempts to be friendly over the fence, feed her children pretzels, offer to water her plants, hug her baby when he skinned his knee, plant flowers, show her how to dip a tortilla chip in homemade salsa, bake cookies with her daughter, speak grammatically incorrect, give a Christmas card, wave from my balcony, and … pray my guts out over her and her family wanting them to know the definition of LOVE in the form of Jesus Christ … God used as a way to penetrate her heart. It’s a sign that God is at work … and a flicker of a flame of hope that burns bright in my heart that God will use my good deeds to produce something wonderful.

Isn't it just like God to use a move, something we perceived as potentially relationship harmful, as being the single thing that catapults this relationship to the next level?! I love the super-human logic of a creative God!


We are now living a very different life from what we jokingly call our “suburb"experience of our former flat. However, it’s all city life. Now our city life is just closer to the inner city, the historical part of the city tourist scramble toward, that involves more daily contact with more humans and more public transportation.


Wien (Vienna) is divided into 23 districts. We now live in the 2nd district. What I’m about to share is information that has been passed on by my Austrian friends. If any misrepresentation of facts occurs, it is not the intention of this writer, but attributed only to my hearing or their re-telling of the facts incorrectly.


The 2nd district is the former Jewish district. Before WWII, approx. 200,000 (one neighbor say 500,000 but his wife says it's 150,000) Jews lived in this part of the city. After the War, 40,000 remained. Surrounded by the Donau River on one side and the Donau Canal on the other, the “Jewish Island” housed many famous writers, musicians, and city planners. Currently, a Jewish center, school and synagogue, now call the 2nd district home, just a few blocks from our place. It is highly secured, complete with round-the-clock video surveillance.

Just a few buildings down from my front door, there is a plaque at the base of one of the buildings. It lies in a state of memorandum to the 23 Jewish men, women and children that were taken from their homes, deported, and exterminated. It’s one of many plaques you can find in my new neighborhood.


I will pass by this building and plaque every day.


I often hear people tell me that I am “living the life” … whatever that means. From their perspective, I live in a beautiful city. It’s true. However, the call on my life (and the life of my Chris) to live in this beautiful city has such a parallel meaning to that Jewish plague I pass everyday day. A Jewish Savior has paid the ultimate price for my life. I, in humble obedience to his specific call and purpose for my life, have chosen to lay things familiar and American aside. I hope that every day, I am living in obedience and making a small difference … an intentional difference to make an impact on a society, a people, one person. Yesterday it was my neighbor.

My prayer is that many years from now it will be a movement of people that began right here … in my new apartment … just down the street from a place Jews were stripped from their freedom. May it be freedom from sin and death that comes to this same street …

When last I typed, the holiday “magic” was still among us: wrapped gifts under the tree, secrets being kept, last minute plans being made. Now, gifts are unwrapped, secrets let out of the bag and plans followed through. Now how’s that for a cheerful perspective?

Actually, despite my melancholy words, I am looking forward to what the New Year holds. This time of year always forces me to reflect on the old and strain to see the new. That’s a good thing.

Right now I’m reading a book that is finding its way into my head and heart in a fresh way. The title: Your God is Too Safe. The author: Mark Buchannan. If you dare, read it. Recently I’ve taking to reading things the Holy Spirit leads me to … finding there is a deeper purpose. I’m certain the purpose of this book, alongside the scriptures it is leading me to deeper investigate, spur me into seeing God as the Beaver’s from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe saw the famed Aslan. “He’s not safe, but He’s good.”

So, good and bad, whatever comes into my life (due to my own poor choices or by God’s divine hand) I want to approach 2011 with that same perspective. When my dryer breaks and remains broken, I say … this is not some trick from an uncaring God … this will serve a purpose because my God is good. When my girls have problems with friends, I say … this is not a cruel and unkind God trying to punish them … this is allowed from a good God who loves them more than I. If I hear of a diagnosis for a loved one … or myself I say, this is not the result of something I have to pay for … this is the result of a good God showing me His loving-kindness when I need it most.

So, if you dare … read the book.

On another note ...
My Chris and I have been married 19 years. We celebrated … alone … for 2 days. Over all the years that have passed between us, it’s weird to see him not as I married him, but as I’ve grown older with him. My heart has not counted the lost hairs, jobs or faith in people. Instead, my heart has paid attention to the tears over hurt, prayers over me, uncertainty over life. My heart has grown over his courage in the face of fear, his loyalty over leaving and his humbleness when he could have chosen pride. Because I see him reading his Bible while eating breakfast, or see him kneeling by our bed when there is no one else upstairs, or hear him praying in the girls ears while they lay in their beds asleep … I love him. Because he fold clothes just to help me, tells me he’s sorry when I know I’m more at fault, and tells me I look beautiful when I feel like a grape … I love him. It’s the everyday stuff that goes routinely unnoticed yet somehow stands out when you reflect. It’s the everyday stuff that stacks up in your favor at the end of the day. It’s the everyday stuff that makes me glad I am the bride of my Chris.

In closing, read the book if you dare … and love others well.