This time of year, listening becomes a challenge.  I've heard numerous people speak of busier schedules, busier work days, busier social engagements.  It's hard to be still and listen when you are busy.

So during the month of December, I pay attention to listening:  to music, to people, to my heart.  One of the things I do to help my Spirit listen is find something new to do when I spend time with God.  I try a reading plan.  I try focusing on some attribute of God.  This year, I'm studying the names of God.

When I sit down, in the middle of my own busy life, I sit with the goal in mind to listen, to get the full value of who he is and not who I've experienced him to be or who I think Him to be ... to get the full truth.  This sounds really spiritual and scholarly but this is really how this thing plays out:

This morning I read about God, El Olom.  I at first chuckled to myself because the letters - in my head - got transposed to El Olaf which then took me to the Disney animated film, Frozen ... which then reminded me of the beloved snowman character, Olaf ... which made me want to sing "In Summer" with a raspy voice ... and then remembered what I was doing ... hearing from God.  You see ... this listening is a hard job!  Once I got myself together and quieted the Disney playlist that had already begun in my head ... I read further.

El Olom, God Everlasting.  Isaiah 26:1 - 8 gives a description of what God Everlasting looks like.  He keeps those who keep their eyes on Him in perfect peace.  He is an eternal Rock.  He makes a smooth path for those who follow.  Hmm.  I think I could use this God, El Olom right now.

Last night, I fell victim to catching up on world news and emails.  First, the news was ... disturbing. Second, my emails contained messages from the U.S. embassy for Americans living aboard to exercise extreme caution in light of the recent announcement of the U.S. embassy being moved to Jerusalem.  I stopped reading.  I let my mind wander.  I've currently got parents traveling abroad.  I've got a daughter who will board a plane in a week.  I've got daughters who travel public transportation.  I've got a hectic week.  I've got to wash sheets.  I've got to get work done.  I've got to find addresses for Christmas cards.  I've got to exercise.  I've got to find a tailor to fix my broken zipper on my coat.  I've got to remember to buy milk.

How fragile my mind can be ... when I'm trying to listen to the One who knows every detail of my life ... as well as everyone else on the planet.  When I can't seem to muster a few moments of quiet reflection and exercise the ability to listen to the One who is Everlasting ... it dawns on me.  He's listening.  Always ... to my thoughts that wander, to my worries that bog me down, to the weight of my heart and to the mundane of my life, He's listening.  Not to judge me, condemn me, lecture me, or scold.  He loves me. He listens.  And then I turn my mind toward Him, this gentle pursuer of my thoughts, and tell him about it all:  the news, the embassy, the traveling, the week, the sheets, the work, the addresses, the cards, the exercise, the zipper, the milk.  I just tell Him everything.

It's this God, El Olom, who is everlasting. And yet, in the stillness that measures this moment in time ... He, Everlasting God, is listening to me.

Makes me feel small and big at the same time.

Listening,
Christina

My Chris recently told me that he's been processing an idea:  ride the wave.  He's a brilliant man. Just look at the female he chose to be his life partner!  Ever since he shared his new catch phrase with me ... I've been doing some thinking.   Because Google is my friend, and never disappoints,  he (Google) had this to say about riding a wave:

Keep looking forward when you paddle.  If you look back you loose power.

I'm 48.  My Mom died at 48.  For years, an early death haunted me.  So, when health problems raise their ugly head I tend to ... freak.  Thoughts like rain drops fill my minds' buckets and trickle down the sides and land in places that cause me to over-think, under rationalize, and skirt around issues that are just plain false ... but for the temporary moment ... seem real.

I know that this is MY year of life!  As my Moms' life came to a close at 48, God has confirmed to me (in that really deep and quiet place) that 48 is my year of LIFE!  I've embraced this year!  For 8 months I've heard, when those rain drop-like false thoughts trickled into empty buckets in my mind, that this IS my year of LIFE.  And if I should react otherwise, for a moment, my heart quickens, stress rises, eyes widen, and fingers research Google ... and then I am reminded of the truth that now trumps these crazy rides of wild emotion:  This is my year of LIFE.

Deep breaths and a visible smile creep across my face as I remember His truth.  Heart beats normal rhythms, stress lowers, eyes resume normalcy and fingers chill ... and leave Google alone.  It's OK.

That's riding the wave.  

Stress lurks around every corner of your life and mine.  We can't get away from it.  It hovers, it crouches, it lays low, it longs to ambush us behind dark corners, and it waits.  Eventually, it bears its ugly head. When it does ... learning to ride a wave takes a whole lot of power away from the stress.  If you can mentally get on your surf board and just paddle ... and don't look back ... it will go away.

How do you paddle, hypothetically speaking?  When news of a high blood level on a report or a new weird thing my body is doing related to hormones reaches my ears, it's hard not to run with it.  However, paddling means reminding myself what God has told me.  Paddling means filtering everything I hear, read, see, think, imagine through the character of God.  Paddling means to sit on my surf board and ride the wave.

What if I found out today that my child had cancer?  What if I lost my home?  What if I was forced to leave my country?  What if I don't act and something bad happens?  What if I do act and something bad happens?  What if ...  "What ifs" always take us to a place that has not yet happened!  Paddling keeps us centered on the here and now.  Paddling keeps us focused on the present, knowing that whatever comes next, the character of God is good and I will be safe.

The Bible says to trust the Lord with all your heart and He will make straight your path.  Sweet.  Upon second glance, I'm struck that God has to tell me to trust Him with all my heart ... not my head.  Intellectually I know things about God.  Intellectually I know that God is love, He will never leave me, He will work out all things for my good.  However, when stress causes me to want to jump off my surf board and flap around with wild arms in deep water ... it's my heart that needs the attention.  That's hard.  Real hard.

My heart has to trust with eyes that haven't seen the end but knows the One who has the end already scripted.  My heart has to look back in remembrance of every other time I was in a pickle God ALWAYS made a way and it was good.  My heart has to overcome what my head knows ... and keep God's truth before me like a trophy.  My heart has to ride the wave ... until the end.  And after having ridden the wave, my heart is the thing that will be strengthened for having ridden.

God cares for my heart.
God loves for me to ride the wave ... until He makes it still ... both the wave and my heart.
Christina