A Momma's Journey: the first of many installments

I'm thinking that I just need to blog my journey ... the journey of a Mother's heart in letting go.  It may not always be pretty.  It may often be manic.  It will always be honest.

Yesterday messy"ness" prevailed.  I walked through Wal-mart (don't judge me; it's so cheap!) buying the last minute things that Addie left for me to pick up.  As I did, I smiled at things I knew she would like ... giggled at little things I picked up knowing she would roll her eyes thinking "this is so Mom" ... and cried over the reality of what I was doing.

Every time I was overcome, undone, done ... I saw the visual of being under the wing (see yesterday).  It brought me peace.  It kept my heart and feet moving forward.

This morning, I was wakened by the sound of the home phone.  I knew it was Addie.  It was.  (Insert giant, crazy, big smile!)  She communicated ... "Mom, I feel at home".  That's all it took.  Knowing where her heart is made mine settle.

As a creature of habit and intense need to know this Creator God of mine ... I flocked to the kitchen table (it rained last night.  My sanctuary is wet.)  I continued reading about Ruth.  At the end of her short story in written words it says ... she was given the ability to have a son ... who was the father of Jesse ... and the great grandfather of David.  I wept.  This widowed, homeless, foreigner ... after making tough decisions to press on in loyalty and love ... was redeemed.

On a real practical note, today my little phone call with my little grown-up girl ... was a heart redeemed.  Simple.  Yet ... a major a task considering the condition of the beating organ that broke within me yesterday.

I have no idea the emotions, manic or honesty that will come next.  What I know is that I am safe ... inside this cozy nest of wings surrounding me ... and whatever comes ... I know it will be redeemed!

Taking more steps,
a Momma