The Fence

I have the vocabulary down ... in my circles.  Faith is a word that is tossed about ... a lot.  When I was 19 years old, I stepped into this great unknown subject ... leaping into with eyes wide open ... this very real yet very unknown life of ... FAITH.

As with most things in life that we make long, committed, decisions about I knew the risks of choosing FAITH.  I had, afterall, been in the right environment to embrace it.  It wasn't so much the fear of the embracing of FAITH ... for me it was the fear of NOT embracing FAITH.

I'm 47 years old.  I'm not having a mid-life crisis ... (I don't think) ... but I am discovering that FAITH looks really different at this stage in my life.  FAITH at 19 took some guts.  FAITH to cross that invisible and tangible all at the same time boundary of committing my life to a Person and a World System that went counter culture to my ... well, my culture.

FAITH as a mature* adult (*no poll taken to proove the adjective I just self-prescribed ) at times takes more guts.  My enemy is experience and self-reliance.  At my age, when the One who I committed my life to at 19 calls my name ... I use experience and self-reliance as my filters.

This morning, as with most mornings, I sat in my cozy chair with my coffee and read some statements that started my pulse racing, my palms to get clammy, and my head to nod in up and down motions of silent agreement.  I'm afraid.  When new things come my way ... I tend to see the outcome of the new thing on one side of a fence ... and me, with all my trying and tiredness and catching up to get it right ... on the other side of the fence.  Here's what's weird.  Usually, I see God on the side I'm trying to get to ... waiting for me to do my trying and get all tired and get it all right before I can come to Him ... to where He is ... to His side.

Wait for it ... this is where my new 47-year-old FAITH comes in ... kinda like a super hero ... and barges down the door of my wrong thinking.

• "I will help you learn to follow me confidently rather than fearfully."  (Jesus Lives by Sarah Young, pg. 356).
• "If the Lord delights in a man's ways, he makes his steps firm; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand."  Psalm 37:23-24