Towers in Gardens

Augarten Park

So if you click on the above link, you will get a feast for the eyes.  At the end of my street, Augarten park stands as a beautiful paradox.

After a few rainy days this week - meaning a few days being cooped up in the house or scrambling from place to place under an umbrella and grey skies -  I knew I needed to just get out and walk.  The rain and grey had found another resting spot and the sun had returned.  If you know anything about me, I HAVE to have green spaces in my life to help me be a proper human.  Living in an urban setting, green spaces are often hard to come by.  So, it is by no accident that God allowed me to live within walking distance of such a slice of green heaven.

I walked.  I talked.  I walked.  I talked (never out loud - at least I don't think so!) I talked to Him about all kinds of things that had found places to nest in my head that really didn't belong nesting there.  After my walking/talking journey, I sat down on a bench to soak up some green.  In front of me spread acres of lovely Baroque gardens.  Perfectly manicured flower beds and neatly trimmed trees all led the eye to the main focal point, the Flak Towers.  These towers (there are two of them) were built in 1942 and were used until 1945 as anti-aircraft towers during WWII .  Within the reinforced concrete walls, able German soldiers were able to shoot down enemy aircraft that dare to tread overhead.  So stable and secure, these towers withstood the destruction of the war and remain, unscathed, despite attempts to tear down them down.  They stand among the beauty - reflecting past pain.

As I sat on my bench, feeling peace that comes from sharing heart issues with the One that made it - and knows it best - I caught the irony.

I caught scenes in my head of my own past pains.  I saw them standing in the background of what my life now looks like.  It would be impossible to destroy their presence in my life - despite the war being over.  Yet, they stand as defeated trophies testifying to something greater overpowering them.

Because life means growth, there will always be new concrete towers that try to get the focus:  financial crisis, cancer, a hurting child, a broken body, a past hurt.  But this week I was reminded of the subtle beauty that towers bring into my life.

• Towers remind me of who I am.  I was created to love and be loved by a God that is bigger than any tower in my life.  The enemy uses towers to try to shake my confidence and steal my focus.  He's pretty good at it, too.  Yet time and towers have shown me that they were meant to be in the background.  God is always bigger, smarter, more gracious and full of more love than any tower.

• Out of pain comes the most beautiful things.  Because I have suffered with anxiety that threatened to cripple me with fear and isolation, I now know the beauty of peace that makes tears come to my eyes out of flat-out gratitude.    Because I have experienced the loss that death brings, I know the hope that life in Christ gives me.  The most ugly things have offered me the greatest opportunities to experience God in ways "normal" would not have accomplished.

• Tower size is based on perspective.  When I sat on my lovely bench, the towers in Augarten park didn't seem as big as if I had been standing at its base, looking up and being overpowerd by it's size.  Anxiety looks small after years of victory.  Loss by death has been put in it's proper timeline according to eternity.  Perspective is everything.  I must decide NOW that when another tower immerges from some place - especially when I was not expecting it - I know where it will end up upon my releasing it into the capable hands of my Father.