Soul-tired Sheep

Recently, a dear and long-time friend sent me an email.  Throughout the year, a "tell me what's going on in a nutshell" request comes from her.  I sum up the months I've lived in a few paragraphs and she reads between the lines.  She does the same with me.  She's been through a hard time - a shocking scandal erupted in her community that demands her attention.  She is soul-tired.

And because life is often tragic, another friend is in a battle.  Politically motivated decisions by leaders who should know better are trying to oust him from his position.  In the past, he received nothing but praise and accolades from the very ones who are trying to defame his character and ruin a stellar reputation.  He is soul-tired.

A young cousin has undergone a major life transformation.  Both hands and feet had to be amputated.  Let the gravity of that sink in just a moment.  Her young life looks very different now and she has battles to fight and hills to climb that most of us could only imagine.  Without a doubt, she ... and all those around her ... are soul-tired.

We operate a nonprofit.  We never intended on being fundraisers, business owners, supervisors, trainers, legal experts, and problem-solvers.  We simply knew that what we were called and gifted to do meant doing it outside any box that had been created.  We exist on the financial support of donors.  This week, a donor had to pull their funds.  This has come during a time when funding is down for the first time since our three year existence.  Thinking about the repercussions of potential outcomes I fabricated in my mind, I began to get soul-tired.

What do you do with soul-tiredness?

We are equal parts Spirit, Soul, and Body.  What I find most often is that when the Soul is tired, it affects the Body and potentially the Spirit.  When our Body, our physical being, gets tired, a good nights sleep, a good meal, or a good laugh can cure most ills.  However, when the Soul is tired, it often takes time to bounce back.

Mind, will, and emotions need time and attention.  When I'm soul-tired, my mind wanders.  Usually, it wanders away from TRUTH and toward fear.  When I'm soul-tired, my will gets weak.  Getting up early gets pushed aside for one more hit of the snooze button on the alarm that pushes me to the brink of disaster and upsets an already tight schedule. When I'm soul-tired emotions are minefields that must be trodden upon lightly.  A simple statement can be received as criticism and a casual answer gets translated as an apathetic declaration.

What do you do with soul-tiredness?

It sounds simple.  It may even sound offensive.  Soul-tiredness requires attention from the maker and keeper of your soul.  We know God as Father, as Creator, as King, as Judge.  When we are soul-tired, we've got to cultivate our relationship with him as Shepherd.

The Bible refers to God as the Good Shepherd*.  So good that Jesus sacrificed his very life for the good of His sheep (that's you and me).  He says that He came to give us life.  He also tells us that there is another power at work in the world.  This power is a thief.  He comes to kill, steal and destroy.  When we listen to his power and the works of his hands, most likely, we get soul-tired.

The scandal that is wreaking havoc on my friends' community and her heartstrings has been used by this thief to steal my friends' joy, to kill her hopes of recovery and destroy the good things that the one at the center of the scandal had previously done.

The job harassment that is creating uproar and uncertainty for my friend and his family has been used by this thief to steal his vision for the future, to kill his reputation and destroy an establishment that has been founded on a rock-solid foundation.

The loss of physical hands and feet of our cousin has been used by this thief to steal her hope of being normal, to kill her self-esteem and destroy a family.

The dropping of a donor has been used by this thief to steal my trust in a providing God, to kill my desire of developing further the visions we have for our nonprofit and destroy my confidence in my calling.

Soul-tiredness requires time alone with the One who knows you.  Allow yourself to be tired without guilt.  Allow yourself to identify the source of your tiredness.  Allow yourself to vent about those who may have been the cause of your tiredness.  And then ... stand firm in the knowledge that the One who created you - see's you.  He sees your soul and the tiredness that invades it.  He also sees the promise that you stand on:  to never leave you and to never abandon you.  He knows that a good shepherd endures the weather and beasts and the long night because His commitment to his sheep far exceeds any temporary hardship the thief may try to convince you is lasting.  He is always with you.  He will renew your mind.  He will refresh your will.  He will refuel your emotions.  Ask.  He's right there with you.

As for myself, I spent time with my Shepherd friend.  He listened.  He reminded me of His love for me.  He also reminded me that His Father is my provider, not any other source.  And He did this all in the quiet of my room, in my favorite chair, overlooking the fall leaves from an urban apartment.  He's with me.  And He's with you.

Overcoming my soul-tiredness,
Christina



* John 10:10-11