Lessons Learned While Saying Goodbye


I was the child of a Military Father.  We moved about from place to place with effortless transition - or so it would seem.  I was a child.  I had only my "stuff" to keep as the center of my world.  My parents, on the other hand, navigated the waters of international moves.  All the details of paperwork, contracts, plane tickets, rental agreements, money exchanges, and filing for new documents were hidden from me.  It wasn't my job.  They took care of those details for they were not mine to accomplish.

I am an adult, making another international move.  While the process is the same, my role is quite different from that of a child of the 70's.  I still have my "stuff" to keep as the center of my world ... it's just that my "stuff" includes a much longer list!  For example, just his week we walked through:  2 graduations, 2 goodbye parties, 8 furniture pickups, numerous cleaning sessions, 1 residence permit email dialogue, 1 Award assembly, 1,243 trips to the trash bins, and lots of other random things in the middle.

Saying goodbye requires honesty.  Say the things you need to say to those to whom you are leaving.  They will be left with routines that once included your presence.  You will be missed.  Say the things that need to be said.

Saying goodbye requires tears.  You can't get around it.  Tears will come.  Healthy people will grieve the loss of saying goodbye to parties with whom you have shared your life.  Let the tears fall.  Get away and "ugly cry" if you need to for it has a cathartic property the soothes the soul.  Cry.  Tears help the letting go.

Saying goodbye requires vision.  When you landed in the place you are now leaving, you said goodbye to a place that was familiar.  Goodbye also means hello to a new place with new people and new experiences.  It's a new chapter.  Keeping a vision for what is to come in the middle of what you are saying goodbye to helps center you.

In saying goodbye, feel what you need to feel.  I have daughters who have lived in a foreign country that now feels like their "home".  I grieve for my losses ... and I grieve for theirs.  Oh, that I could take away the pain that sloshes around in their hearts and spills out in moments of emotion.  This is their journey.  Having walked through this season will make them stronger women.  But for now, this Momma wants to cradle them in my arms and stroke straight hair and let sweet kisses fall on smooth foreheads and remind them all will be OK.

Saying goodbye reminds me that despite the numbers that indicate how many years on the planet I've lived, I will always be a child of God.  There are certain things I can lay at his feet while I make this transition.  Some things simply aren't my job to solve, figure out, arrange or make happen.  It's the job of my Father.  He takes care of those details for they are not mine to accomplish.

Finally, saying goodbye reminds us that if you know Jesus - there will be a time and place were no more goodbyes will ever be uttered.  Until then, get the Kleenex out, write the cards, whisper the words in ears of those you are leaving and embrace the transition.

More goodbyes and lessons learned,
Christina


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2 comments

  1. Oh Christina.. I am thinking of the time when I had to say goodbye to Kim my best friend for 6 years. The last weeks where so painful and I cried many many tears
    I also understand your grieve for your daughters' grieve.Thinking of you ��

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  2. So looking forward to you being here but knowing this is difficult. Praying for you all!
    💕Randi

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