Ways to Get From Here to There
As I started snapping these images of mine, first a bridge, then a row of bikes, then Strassenbahn (street car) tracks, I stumbled upon an adult bike with an infant seat attached to the back. Hmm. Then I saw some people sitting on a bench, waiting for the bus. Instantly, I had the impression that these, too, were forms of getting from where you are to where you want to go.
I've told you recently that I feel as if we are in transition. I'm not sure to what end transition will lead. However, I do know the feelings that stir inside me while I'm going through it:
- I get stressed when I try to diagnose the end result.
- I get impatient with the uncomfortable feelings that uncertainty bring down deep inside me.
- I find myself lacking the faith to be still and desiring the need to produce activity to launch me forward into - something - anything.
And yet, this morning, the revelation came: Two ways to get from where I am to a place I am uncertain of comes in 1) being carried and 2) in waiting.
The image of the infant seat on the posterior side of the adult bike is great - yet disturbing. It denotes a position of vulnerability. The infant has no say in the direction the adult is peddling. The way may be obstructed by the physical body of the rider. It requires total dependantcy on the adult. He picks you up, plops you in the seat, does the activity to get you to where it is you are going, takes you out when the journey is at its end.
I'll be honest, when I was much younger, I was a rebellious infant. I wanted to climb into the seat, see where I was going, often yell directions at the one leading, and jump out of the seat when I arrived in anticipation of doing the next thing. What has happened to me over the years is simple. Intimacy. As I've become more intimately acquainted with my Father, I've chilled out. I know He can be trusted to take good care of me. Really good care. In fact, I've learned to enjoy the times that He leads me and I rest. Resting then becomes faith. Faith tells my Father I know Him and I trust His ways - even when I don't know the outcome.
As I snapped my images of humans waiting on benches, I had to sigh. Waiting is not passive. Waiting is an act of faith. Waiting takes more courage than actively rushing into that in which you are waiting for. Right now, this feeling of transition of mine makes me want to DO something. Trouble is - I have no idea of what to do! I've learned that as I wait, I see things that activity kept me from noticing. When I wait, I see His face. When I wait, I see what's going on around me. When I wait, I notice - myself. And when I wait, I've grown keenly aware that it's not about me. There are activities that are happening in order for the things I am waiting for to arrive. There is a plan and order and it all takes place while I - wait.
I'm learning that "without faith it is impossible to please God" is really about being carried and waiting.
Feeling the need to "do" and you have no clue what you are to"do", chances are God is teaching you to be carried or to wait. My advice - be carried and wait. It's the hardest most sacred thing you will ever learn to do.
Looking around while I wait,
Christina
1 comments
Ooooh Christina I read your blog backwards, and now I'm at this one. So that's why God is impressing upon me about the carrying. You know I permanently feel like in between one thing and the next, and I often feel stressed. But now I see he carries me to the next place. I also see how much I've learned in this time I've been waiting. I feel like I truly see his face when I couldn't before.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post. God used it to speak straight to my brain.