Karen Carpenter and the Holy Spirit

Being a child of the 70's (OK ... born in 1968) I love The Carpenters.  Yes, I bolded them because this iconic, brother/sister, musical, genius, talented, power group deserves proper Noun status.  Today, the song Rainy Days and Mondays popped into my head.  Karen's rich, alto, bravado echoes almost in monastic-like chants a recurring line that captured my head and trickled into those reflective parts of my heart and thus commanded me to write.  Karen is talking about how rainy days and Mondays always get her down.

Question for myself:  Are there things in my life that always get me down?
Answer:  Yes.
Follow-up Question:  Always?
Follow-up Answer:  Yes.

Then I think about why they always get me down.  They've become a habit.  When certain things occur, a "down" feeling has become such a habit I assume the "down" position.  It doesn't occur to me that another alternative is available to me.  I just go with the flow and become - down.  Karen spouts this similar philosophy when she sings: "What I feel has come and gone before."  There you have it!  It's a reoccurring pattern.

Enough dribble.  Let me give you a real-life example:  I get fearful of new meetings.  This sounds a bit ridiculous since most of my life is centered around meetings.  However, it's a reality.  I don't know if "fearful" is the word ... but there is a certain anxiety that forms in between my shoulders at the base of my neck in the form of unwanted tension.  It then creeps down into my tummy where an unsettled, queazy, yuck feeling remains until after my meeting passes.  It could be a first-time coffee meeting with a person I want to call a friend, it could be a potential partnership with Fahrenheit, it could be a meeting with someone I meet on a regular basis.  It sounds quite - weird - when I put this down in black and white but let me assure you, the feeling I get is quite real and has developed a pattern in my life.  It's become common and one I expect.  The line from Ms. Carperenters song that has done so much to prompt these reflective pieces of prose:

"Funny but it seems it's the only thing to do.  Run and find the one who loves me."

Through a series of talks with the One I run to when the "down" comes my way has got me to pondering these fearful feelings. I first recognized the fear.  This happened when I was being quiet.  Holy Spirit showed me this fearful feeling was becoming a problem. There wasn't judgment from a harsh Authority.  There was, instead, a gentle pointing out of the obvious much like the pointing out that comes from a close friend.  This feeling of fearfulness isn't designed for me nor does it come from the One that loves me.  Whew!  Once that got out of the way, I began to assess what to do with the rhythm I had grown accustomed to ... a meeting hence the feeling.  As most answers from Holy Spirit come with simple action steps, the answer to this overcoming was equally as simple "talk to me".  When the fearful feelings began to rise up like tiny soldiers on their way to that spot in my neck, start talking to Holy Spirit.  "Hey, here it comes.  Take it from me and replace it with those feelings I was designed to experience."  Simple.

I've started doing this over the last few weeks.  I've noticed I'm developing a new rhythm.  When the "rainy days and Mondays" fearful feeling due to a meeting comes, my default is not neck to tummy weirdness but rather conversation ... as in "the only thing do is to turn and find the One who loves me".  Karen was on to something.  Running to the One who loves me changes my trajectory.  Truth always trumps lies.  And now I see that fearful feeling was an attempt to squash my confidence in what God intends for my good, for someone else's good, for His good!

How do I know this works?  I had a meeting a few days ago.  It wasn't until after I got home and was pondering the to and fro of our conversation that I realized ... that feeling never surfaced.  Shazam!

Running and finding the One that loves me,
Christina