Joy?

I am often more baffled by what I read in God's Word than perhaps any other adjective available to describe my experience.  Don't be alarmed.  The baffling lasts only for a little while - sometimes - and then the part of me that responds to God's Spirit reveals to my Spirit truth.  And quite frankly, it's that truth that most certainly rocks my world and changes the trajectory of my thought process.  This is where I find myself this morning.

If taken at face value, there is little that can be seen with the human eye that makes us jump up for joy, rub our tummy and send us into happy land.  A good meal.  A good book.  Time spent with friends or family.  But most of life is ordinary, mundane, routine, expected.  And then when "trials" come into the already ordinary, it can be really over the top.  If I focused on these things, again the things that I can only see with my physical eyes, I'd be popping more Prozac than my physician could scribble prescriptions for!

But, because those of you who have had an encounter with Jesus don't live by what your eyeballs see but rather live by faith - and get to see through new eyes that are made perfect in the Spirit - we can have secret weapons in which to combat the ordinary.  Shazam!  Normal life gets kicked in the face with supernatural revelation that can change not only our minds, our hearts, our perspective, but quite possibly our situations.

I am in Menopause.  I give it capital letters for it deserves all the respect deemed to those things worthy of capital letters.  If I thought the first trimester of my three pregnancies were a dozy, this makes those days pale in comparison.  No more need for the dramatic; it's just not a fun phase of life.  It makes me weak physically - but mentally and that bothers me.  It makes me weepy.  It makes me rage.  I don't like it.

After on-and-off-again mini symptoms I'm smack dab in the middle of the war.  And, at the same time, have been impressed to trust God in a new way for healing - which is another story for another time.  Not healing from Mesopause.  My body has to go through this physical change.  However, healing from the sometimes horrible symptoms of this natural body transition.

Last night I didn't sleep well.  Various parts of my body are doing weird things.  It's grey outside - and raining - and cold.  I have a meeting in 45 minutes.  And I feel like - crap.  There.  I said it.  As I slipped into the place I eat my oatmeal and drink my coffee, I read "what JOY for all who take refuge in Him".  I'm not feeling it.  So I stop.  I think.  I ask the Holy Spirit to communicate to my Spirit and tell me what joy can be found in running to God while I'm facing body chemistry nightmares.

And that's the answer:  it's into whose arms I'm running that gives me joy.  Menopause brings no joy. Doctors visits bring no joy.  No sleep definitely doesn't bring joy.  Yet, when I bring all of that to Him - He gives me joy.

I don't know how long this thing is gonna take - this chemistry experiment with my female self.  But, in the midst of it I run ... to the One ... who not only gives me refuge ... but JOY!

Menopausal,
Christina