In 24 days I will be back on American soil. I am an American. I, specifically, have southern roots. I know the meaning of
"ya'll", I can cook the best pot of beans and bake the best cornbread your little heart has ever tasted, and I can
"bless your heart" until the sun sets in the big Oklahoma sky. However, living in Vienna since 2009, I am an American with a bit of a complex. I'm not even sure what to call it and frankly, I don't even know how to define it. The only other people on the planet who understand this strange complex are those in my shoes: Americans who have lived for some time on foreign soil. A rare breed indeed.
So, for friends and family who will encounter me this summer, perhaps there are a few things that you already know but I will declare in black and white that will help you make sense of the person I've become. This is true for my Chris and those precious girls of mine.
1. We will take our shoes off when we enter your house. We can't help it; it's normal. We walk everywhere we go. Our feet are like your cars. We travel nasty places just like your tires do. It's normal for us to take off our shoes. Would you want your tires rolling all over your floors?
2. Your coffee will taste bad. It's not that we are snobs, we are just accustomed to really good coffee. Drip coffee is the equivalent of toilet water.
3. Speaking of coffee - it is the center piece of our lives. Coffee in the morning, strong. Coffee mid-morning with a nice chat. Coffee after lunch with more chatting. Coffee mid-afternoon with a friend. Coffee after diner with more chatting. Coffee is much more than a beverage. It is the excuse to engage in countless conversations. Don't worry, we will bring our own espresso maker - and coffee.
4. Air conditioning will probably make us sick. We are not pansies or have allergies - we are simply not used to air conditioning. The coolest thing we have in our apartment is a rotating fan with 3 speeds. We try not to use even those despite 90 temps when our Austrian friends visit because they don't like the draft. We may get sick, we may always wear a jacket, but we will like the cool air - really like it!
5. We will be quiet in public. We are used to speaking in hushed tones and making little to no chatter with strangers. It will take us a while to get used to the volume in public places and may take a little longer for us to say "hi" to the strangers that will assault us with their cordial greetings. We are not weird - we are just not used to such public tet-a-tet.
6. Public places will stress us out. Wal-mart, Target, or any other public setting will freak us out at first. Again, you have to remember that my grocery store has 2 check-out lines. I only have 1 to 2 brands of any kind of product to choose from. Everyone is quiet. Even the background music is quiet. Strangers don't talk, unless they are really old and can't read a sign or are homeless and are talking to themselves.
7. I won't dress as cute as you. I've become accustomed to dressing for comfort. I only have two pair of summer shoes - both were bought for comfort and not looks. I will admire your bling, jewelry and big designer bags. I will be amazed at how many shoes one can buy but will only gravitate towards those that can withstand heavy walking. I will be the one wearing black while you are sporting every color of the rainbow. I am not goth, just restricted by my European flair for keeping things simple and subdued.
8. I will constantly be taken-aback by how friendly perfect strangers are to me. It will cause me to seem a little distant. It's just weird. Again, no one in my setting speaks to strangers. I am used to going through my life never communicating with another person - ever - while I'm doing my day. It's become normal. So, when accosted by a friendly clerk, waitress or your neighbor, I will probably be surprised at first. It won't take me long to get into the groove - it will take longer for my girls. However, we'll get the hang of it. Probably about the time we get back on the plane to come back home.
9. I will stop and stare every time I see the American flag. It's an emotional almost sacred thing. I don't see one - ever - unless I catch a glimpse of it at the United Nations building while driving by on the subway.
10. Your food will taste funny. Milk, yogurt, bread, chocolate and cheese will taste really funny. We've grown accustomed to things that are not pre-sweetened, have preservatives and last until Jesus comes back. However, we will eat all the Mexican food, Braum's Ice Cream and cakes made from a Betty Crocker cake mix we can get our hands on - really.
Getting excited to be back on US soil,
Christina
