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Write Words



I've never traveled by ship.  I've never taken a cruise. I've never hoisted a sail.  I've never weighed an anchor. I do look cute in nautical colors but that's the extent of my sea faring experience.


Yet, this morning, I am intrigued over ships.


I want to propose that by reading the story of Paul and his experience of riding through a storm on a ship, we can gain valuable insight into how to weather the storms in our own lives.


I love the way the Bible describes the events that go down in Acts 27.  Paul, a prisoner headed to Rome, is on a ship that is facing a terrible storm.  So terrible, in fact, that for many days sun nor stars appeared. So terrible, in fact, that the crew didn't eat, were tossing cargo and gear over the sides of the vessel, and trying to take a skiff to save their lives.


In the middle of the severe storm, Paul eats.  Paul, unaffected by the chaos that literally raged around him, urged the crew to eat as well.  Before the crew put bread to lips, they watched as Paul took the bread, thanked God for it, and ate it.  How oddly strange.  


Once they saw Paul engaging in such a profound yet simple act of personal self-care in the middle of sea waves pounding a wooden ship and dark sky hovering above their heads, they were "encouraged".  So encouraged were they by Paul's odd actions they, too, ate for the first time in 14 days.


Can you imagine the scene?  Imagine 276 men, crew and prison passengers, having a picnic on board a ship during the middle of a northeaster.  It sounds very Mutiny on the Bounty.


To be a student of the Word of God and a follower of Jesus, I feel it important (and Biblical) to pay attention to the stories that have been recorded for our benefit.  So when I read Acts 27, I heightened my awareness and ready my fingers to write down my impressions from the Holy Spirit as I read.


May I suggest that as most of us living in 2020 will not be escorted to Rome on a ship, we can gain incredible life application from Paul during this time in his life.  


Storms happen.  In 2020, most of our storms come in the form of relationship strife, financial crisis, personal failure, family dynamics, world events, and unknown viruses.  This list could be personalized and lengthened to fit your own situation. Storms come. Always. Life is never without storms.


But, when everyone else around us responds to the terror of the storm, do we need to respond the same way?  We, who know Jesus, are called to live by different standards. In fact, I think if ever there was a time when God's people lived according to His principles, the time is now!


The crew responded like good sea men should.  They set out the first anchor to slow the speed of the ship.   They threw off cargo followed by the ship's gear. They did all they could to lighten the load of the ship.  A heavy ship sits deep in sea waters. They needed a ship to sit high in the midst of the storm. Some even tried to flat out escape the terror of the seas by taking a skiff (small boat attached to the body of the main ship) to fend for themselves.


Yet, Paul.  Paul responded as one who knew the One who had created the storm.  He knew a promise that had been made to him. He knew that despite what he saw with his eyes, God was going to protect him (see Acts 27:21-26), and bring him through the storm.


What if we were more like Paul?  What if we lived by the promises of God’s Word?  What if, during a potential pandemic like is currently occupying the airwaves around the world, we did not walk in a spirit of fear? What if, during a personal crisis, we cried out to God, first, and sought out His wisdom for what steps we took next?  


Instead, I have found myself very much like the crew members.  I’ve tried to lighten the load of my difficult situation by throwing things overboard.  I’ve tried to jump ship through escapism or denial of my situation. Come on, am I the only one who has relied on my own understanding and tried to fix my predicament my way and according to my plan?  I sit as my own jury and judge myself guilty when trying to chart my own course, pray but seek others opinion, and rely on God and something or someone else.  


I’m hearing the voice of the One I call Father to dare to live by His Word - alone.  I’m hearing Him call me into deeper places that require me to trust Him - alone. Before I send out propaganda calling for help for personal insight into painful places, I’m calling on my Father, first.  He often tells me to call a friend or reach out to others for prayer. He most often does not call me to live life alone or as a lone ranger fighting my own battles. He’s good at surrounding me with others who can carry burdens and lift tired hands and strengthen weak knees.  However, that comes after I’ve come to Him, first. That comes after the falling on my face before Him, alone. That comes after I seek out direction through His Word knowing He is my answer. Only Him.


Paul knew the storm was ragging.  He responded by the promise of God’s protection.  He didn’t engage the problem. He stayed engaged with the One who would solve the problem.  


And just in case you aren’t familiar with how this story ends … “everyone safely reached the shore.”


Paul held on to God’s promise and actually saved the lives of everyone on the ship.  He was not affected by what he saw with his physical eyes. He was motivated to action by what he saw by faith.  By upholding the standard to live by God’s word alone, he survived the storm.


May we have the courage to live today with rock solid conviction and courage to live by God’s word alone. 

Don't jump ship!
Christina






The story of a Christian Christmas begins with a senior adult priest, his barren wife, and a virgin teenager.  It seems more like the things Hallmark movies are made of and not the plans of an Almighty God to save the world.  To be honest, I like that about God.  I like that He chooses those things that seem so unlikely to have a powerful impact.

At the time that Zacharias was a priest, 18,000 other priests were separated into twenty-four divisions.  According to the Jerusalem Perspective (https://www.jerusalemperspective.com/2304/), during the Second Temple period, the twenty-four priestly divisions served in the temple at Jerusalem in a rotation system.  According to my limited math skills, that means there were 750 priests in one division.  Let me point out what I believe to be an unlikely situation:  God orchestrated events so that Zacarias would be the one priest out of 18,000 to be selected to go behind the sacred curtain within the secret place of the Holy Temple to hear some incredible, life-changing news.  God went to extreme lengths to share a special message with an unlikely candidate.

God spoke a crazy word.  He declared that a barren, senior adult woman would conceive a baby.  This baby had a purpose.  These plans were laid before the foundations of the earth.  Her age, her womb, her past record of bearing no babies were not criteria that disqualified her for an extreme encounter with the Living God.  

Then, as if we needed more crazy, God does something even more unlikely.  He chooses a virgin teenager to be the vessel He uses to bring His Son into the planet.  He allows the Holy Spirit to overpower a teenage girl and through power that only requires breath, creates new life inside her womb.  God did this.  God did the unlikely.  

Barren.  Old.  Virgin.  Young.  Immaterial when it came to God doing what God had already planned.  

I love that this whole story leaves you scratching your head a bit.  

  • Why did He choose to answer Zacharias and Elizabeth's prayer to have a baby well after their bodies were able to handle the chemistry of virile and young love?  
  • Why did He choose Zacharias in the first place?  Weren't there other priests who were ... more priestly?  
  • Why did He choose to ask Mary, of good reputation with a bright future ahead of her, to offer her body to carry the Holy One that would save those who mocked her and scorned what they thought to be scandalous life choices?

When both messages of new babies were spread through the lips of the messenger, Gabriel, the message was the same:
Do not be afraid.

If ever fear would be an appropriate response, I think these two situations would qualify.  However, I think the circumstances were so insignificant to the greater picture.  The news of an answered prayer after many, many, many years of thinking the answer was a no was not the issue - God's faithfulness was.  The news of being the one chosen to carry the long-awaited Messiah to full term humanhood was not the issue - again, God's faithfulness was.

Not too long ago, (check out the first paragraph), I said that I liked that God chooses those things that seem so unlikely to have a powerful impact.  I like it when it happens to other people - not myself.  I get tripped up when God does the unlikely in my own life because I get too focused on the circumstances.  I see them from my perspective.  I see life through the lens of my number on the Enneagram scale, my Meyers-Briggs, my past experience, and/or the narratives in my head that say this is impossible.  I weigh my logic and personality and past against the divinity and faithfulness of God.  Honestly, my scale always tips in my favor.  My way makes more sense.  My way seems the logical path.  And thank God, He never listens or bows to my pleading to do it my way.  For if He had, the results would have been awful and His authority limited to my own selfishness.

The things in my life that have been most unlikely (hurtful past memories, dysfunctional relationships, losses of way too many kinds to count, anxiety, mental illness of close friends and family, loss of identity) have been the things that God has used in my life to bring about a powerful impact.  Unlikely, yes.  Undeniably the fingerprints of God, yes!

Most recently, facing a painful memory from my childhood, set me free in more ways than I thought I had been enslaved.  The freedom that comes from honesty before the Lord, being afraid but trusting God, allowing the Holy Spirit to overpower you with His truth in light of your lie - unlikely agents of change.

And now we get back to the moral of this story:  unlikely is what God does!  He, Creator, King, Father, Master, Lord of Lord, Developer of babies in wombs, Calmer of Seas, Provider of Bread and Fish, and listener to every prayer I've said in words or in heart utterances only His Spirit can discern does the unlikely.  He does it because, well, He can!  

"For nothing will be impossible with God."  Luke 1:36


So, have you heard the one about a priest, his wife, and a virgin?  Yeah, me, too.  And thank God He used them to show us how He used the unlikely and uses the unlikely today!

Telling stories about the priest, his wife, and a virgin,
Christina







"It may look like I'm surrounded but I'm surrounded by you." - Ellysa Smith
"Through You, we drive back our foes; through Your name, we trample our enemies."  - Psalm 44:5
This morning as I was battling a horrible headache, an upper respiratory "thing", bad hair and cold toes, I read about a Father - my Father - who battles for me.  At first, I had to clear the clutter of my physical ailments and push into the deeper things.  The deeper things in my heart hold a dream for a place of our own called Fahrenheit House.  Fahrenheit House will be a place for people to come to find refuge in a crazy world.  It will be a place to lay your head for a few days and find that still, small voice of the One who loves you like crazy.  It will be a place we can hold intimate conferences on how to know the One who loves us more than we can think or imagine.  It will be a place where young couples come to strengthen marriages over cups of good coffee.  

It will be ... but it's not yet.

It's just a dream placed in the hearts of me and my Chris for two years that we've put legs to in the form of faith.  

I gotta be honest.  I don't pretend to know God's immediate plan, but I have a great hope in one particular house here in Norman.  It meets the criteria of what we believe God wants for such a place.  The only problem is the price and our lack of resources.

However, most days, those obstacles don't phase me.  That's how I know this dream of Fahrenheit House is from God and not from the rather imaginative places in my brain.  I've come to realize that when God deposits a dream within you, it's usually so crazy only He can do it.  

I've got it on good authority that this is usually the way He does things.  Check out his track record: 
  • saves the world from a flood by asking one man to build a huge boat/zoo and brings the animals from all over the world two by two
  • speaks to a rebel Hebrew raised by Egyptian adoptive parents through a bush that seems to be on fire but isn't and asks him to bring millions of his Isreal countrymen out of the hands of a powerful Pharaoh
  • supernaturally orchestrates events so that a young virgin will give birth to His Son
  • allows His Son to feed 5,000 plus with a boys lunch of 5 fish and 2 loaves of bread
  • delegates 12 men who are just ordinary humans to spread the message of an extraordinary Father's forgiveness and restoration through His Son

God does big things in big ways through small avenues.  And since that is true, I want explosive faith.  I want the kind of faith that explodes through any human understating that is contrary to God's truth.  The kind of faith that illuminates, like a lantern, my steps and sees the impossible as possible.  

Explosive faith doesn't come by chance.  It's active.  It's deliberate.  It's not based on what I see, what I can do, what I can manipulate, what I can orchestrate, what I can fabricate.  It's based only on the power of what God can do.  

When it looks like I'm surrounded by obstacles, doubt, reality, God can do the work.  When it looks like the thing that is between me and my dream is too big, it's God who can work on my behalf and turn the impossible into possible.

Explosive faith says "I can't ... but YOU can."

Explosive faith isn't a blind claim of absurd things.  Explosive faith puts action into what God's Word says.  He says I can't trust in my own ways but I can trust in His ways (Psalm 42:4-8).  So, when I practice explosive faith, I trust Him to bring the finances for a dream of a house that seems out of my reach so that He can use it to bless people and I can pour cup after cup of good coffee and brag on what my Father did on my behalf.

Letting faith explode,
Christina




A few blog posts ago, I penned my journey of faith concerning my oldest coming home for Christmas.  This was the goal.  Yet, in lieu of her sister, Parker, graduating from High School in June 2018, we were not sure how finances would allow for a trip home twice this year.  We laid the request at the feet of a good Father.  We asked for both.  We were settled with His decision.

She's coming home for Christmas.
She's also coming home for Graduation.

Let me say that again:  SHE'S COMING HOME FOR GRADUATION!

We run a nonprofit.  Our salary is graciously supported by private donors.  We have what we need.  We trust God for the rest.  "The rest" this year was in the form of two Boarding passes for Addison to travel from her home in Oklahoma to our home in Vienna.

A Christmas ticket was provided by air miles we had accrued on our credit card and a generous gift.  A Graduation ticket was provided this week ... a generous couple who love my daughter wanted to bless her in this way.

God has me on a journey of faith.  At my age, having walked through many times of waiting for Him to provide what seemed to be the impossible, you think I would have a rock-solid, unwavering, unshakable, deep down, I ain't movin' from this spot kind of faith.  Yet, faith is a living, growing thing that ... grows.  It grows when needs arise.  It isn't reduced by our lack of wondering how it will all work out.  It is only tested to believe - again - for that "thing" that seems too far from our reach but never out of reach from the One who loves us.

A plane ticket today.
Tomorrow it will be something else.

There are other things on the horizon that I know will grow my faith.  That is for another day and another blog.  Stay tuned ... they're big.

But for today, I smile and rest and feel content that God answered another prayer.  My faith has grown.  My girl is packing.  And I am at peace.

Miracle Grow for the Soul!

She's coming home,
Christina


I'm a total nerd when it comes to my viewing preferences.  Give me a rainy day, a cup of coffee, and unlimited time to chill in front of my computer and I will watch one of the following:  a Jane Austin film, a food/travel show, or a documentary ... on just about anything.

Lately, having spent a day and a half in bed with some sort of something ... I watched numerous nature documentaries.  On this most recent binge-watch, I learned about the illusive 6 to 7 cm tube-lipped nectar bat.  The TLNB is the only animal that pollinates the rare plant, Centropogon, blooming for only 6 days within a year.   The tube-lipped nectar bat has a tongue %150 the size of his body which enables him to reach the interior of this rare plant leaving him the only being on the planet able to reach this precious nectar.  Rarer still is that by reaching his long tongue into the cavity of this plant, he rubs his head on the surface of the stem which contains the pollen.  This is the only vehicle by which this plants' pollen is spread.  Impressive.  (If you want to know more, check out "Untamed Americas" on Netflix, "Mountain" episode.)

Then I read my Bible.  I read the words of the Psalmist who says in Psalm 18 that enemies surround him on all sides, the ropes of death engulf his body, and the grave lays a trap for him.  And yet, within the same breath, he proclaims the character of this God he's come to know as his ...

  • Strength
  • Rock
  • Fortress
  • Savior
  • Protection
  • Shield
  • Power that Saves
  • Place of Safety


Now, stranger still, perhaps stranger than my little tube-lipped nectar bat, is what happens next.
"The Lord shrouded Himself in darkness, veiling His approach with dark rain clouds.  Thick clouds shielded the brightness around him."

This is weird.  This leaves me scratching my head.  The very nature of God is light.  In fact in Him there is no darkness at all.  And yet, here, he uses darkness as a predator uses darkness waiting to ambush unsuspecting prey.

So what happens when what you read doesn't make sense with what you know?  You wait it out.  You ask the Holy Spirit who is TRUTH to explain some stuff to your head that you obviously don't know.

When I look back on the "dark" times in my life, they are pretty dark:

  • anxiety so bad I could not leave my home
  • such abuse of authority it affected my health
  • hurting over the loss of losing a baby in the womb
  • grieving long-distance over the loss of a loved one
  • feeling "done" with a job ... with a place ... with life

In the middle of the darkness, it was ... dark.  I cried out to God.  Like the Psalmist, I felt the enemies surround me, the ropes of death engulf my body, and the grave laying a trap for me.  I'm telling you, these were dark times.  I cried out ... begging God to lift the darkness for fear I would not make it to the other side.

Most of the time, I knew there was an "other side" and knew that God, true to His character, would pull me through.  However, there were doubts.  There were times when I felt sure God had abandoned me - despite His word saying He never would.  There were times when I felt I had absolutely no strength - despite His word saying He was my strength.  How long, God, is this going to last?  

Have you been there?
Do you know of the darkness of which I speak?

As I wait for TRUTH to make sense, I discover why God clouded Himself in darkness:  He's a Master predator.  The contrast between the darkest darkness being defeated by the Master of light is more than noteworthy - it's a down right miracle! 

  • When the healing comes for anxiety
  • When the abuse is stopped and health is restored
  • When the hurting over the loss of a baby is soothed by love
  • When the grieving is replaced with peace
  • When the feeling of "done" is sustained and given new birth

Then ... then you know the One who came in darkness snuck up and defeated that which kept you in darkness.  He was not absent.  He was not unconcerned about you or the circumstances.  He was not too busy.  He was not unwilling to act on your behalf.  He was waiting.  He was present all the time.  He clothed Himself in darkness so He could enter the darkness with you.  His disguise may have eluded you ... but He was there.

How is it possible to remain hopeful, in healing, in health, in love, in peace during the dark times?  You must remember God's character and His Word.  In the middle of the dark, it is the hardest to declare God's character and stand on His Word.  Focusing on the darkness leads to more darkness.  Focusing on the darkness, in light of the truth of what you know about the One who shatters the darkness, leads to victory.  This is the fight of faith.  Faith fights to declare what is not in the middle the dark.  Faith fights to bring light into the dark ... and has the eyes to see the One who stands beside you in the middle of it.

The One who fashioned a rare plant on top of the Patagonia Mountains, allowing it to blossom only 6 days in a year also created a bat, a tube-lipped nectar bat, who because of its tongue, %150 times its body size, is the only creation able to reach its coveted nectar and allow it to continue it's lifecycle.  He is the One who's very character is to care and provide for that which He created.  And, His Word says that if He cares for something as small as the rare plant and 6 cm bat ... how much MORE does He and will He care for you.

That will get you through a dark night.  That will fuel faith.

He's always in the dark,
Christina

Today dear friends of ours are dealing with a brain tumor.  Diagnosed last week, today is operation day.  Heavy.  He's young.  He has four little babies.  Those babies don't know that Mommy and Daddy are hurting because our friends love Jesus - and they trust Him.  And yet, it's heavy.

This afternoon as I deal with my own set of setbacks, I'm trying to hear God and hear TRUTH.  As I read the Bible, I discover that healing - even of brain tumors - is God's will.  Healing - just as forgiveness of sins - was bought and paid for by Jesus Christ on the cross.

You see I don't have a problem putting my faith in the fact that God can heal.  I sometimes have a belief problem - wondering if this time God will heal.  It's not a God issue - it's a ME issue.  I'm working through allowing the Holy Spirit to delete the spam in my brain that has been wrong teaching and embrace the TRUTH of who God is and how he operates.

So as I sit with my coffee this afternoon, really too tired physically to pray and dig and examine who God is, I am reminded by one simple action.  I opened my Bible and it flipped open to a place I had made a note at some point in my past.  Here's what it read:
The Lord says, "I will rescue those who love me.  I will protect those who trust in my name.  When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble.  I will rescue and honor them.  I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation."  Psalm 91: 14 - 16
God could have chosen any number of things to show me.  And yet, He allowed me to see this - today - as I pray for healing and a long life for my young friend.  He affirmed in five sentences that HE will do what He says.  That salvation means a secured eternity and all that implies, including saving us from sins and saving us from sickness (Matthew 9:29, Matthew 9:22, Psalm 103:1, 1 Peter 2:24, Isaiah 53:3-5).

Point of this story, I am exercising faith and belief on behalf of my young friend in a God who heals.  It's scary business.  It's heavy.  And yet - without faith - it's impossible to please God.  I want to be a God pleaser.  So I assert my faith.

More coffee and more open Bible time,
Christina





When I gave birth to my youngest, Libby, I was slammed with an awful case of anxiety.  Having faced anxiety in the past, I knew my opponent.  However, this time it came out with it's guns loaded full throttle and I was prey that demanded to be taken down.  For six weeks, I felt as if I had a target on my back and in my heart that kept being pelted by attacks - over and over - and over and over.  I was so tired of running I literally thought I would die.  My mind was wasted.  My body was disturbed.  I didn't trust my emotions.  I was a mess.

Principle:  When we face an enemy, God wants to win the battle.

I thought it was my battle.  I thought it was my responsibility to go to war every day armed with scripture to take captive the thousands (literally) of thoughts that ran like enemy rogues in my head.  Yet this time, I had nothing left to give, fight with, stand against.  I.was.tired.

It was in this season (and can I just say that all enemy attacks have their seasons - they don't last forever) that God displayed His "I AM A MIGHTY WARRIOR" characteristic in a way I had never experienced.  I learned that in my weakness, in my break-downs in the shower under the safety of running water that muted my pitiful cries for help, God injected power into my situation.  I emerged six weeks later as a new person.  God won my battle.

How?  Weakness.  When I am strong, I am very strong.  I know I can leap mountains, scale buildings, bake brownies, and win Mom of the Year all while wearing pearls and having good hair and kissing hubby at the end of his hard work day and make him glad I'm a woman.  But, when I am weak, I am very weak.  No leaping, scaling, baking, winning, wearing, having, kissing goes on for weakness trumps willingness to pull it all together.

Yet, weakness also sets aside "me" for "Him".  When He's all I have, He's all I get.  And when He's all I get, I am no longer weak.  Body, mind, and brownie-making ability all gets sorted out and put into the right places under His strength.  My mouth gives proper credit to a Creator who performs on my behalf because body knows how weak it is.

Gideon (Judges 7) experienced the same thing.  32,000 soldiers had been prepped and waited to do battle against an army that compared itself to a vast hoard of locusts.  Yikes!  I'm thinking 32,000 didn't stand a chance.  And yet, God reduced that number of testosterone warriors to 10,000.  Why?  "If I let all of you fight the (enemy), the Israelites will boast to me that they saved themselves by their own strength."

Get it?  In a culture that values hard-work, self-made people, can do attitudes, we did it our way philosophies, God says something else.  Let ME do all the work.  Let ME fight your battle.  Let ME be God and you be child.  Counter culture.  God's culture.

When God wins the battle, it's finished.  What six weeks of mental mind games and gut-wrenching heart-ache paired with uncontrolled panic and anxiety set out to do - destroy - God used for my good.  He destroyed things that I could have never fought against.  He transformed my mind, bypassed many a heart-ache, put panic and anxiety in it's proper place (under His feet) and brought me to a new place.  That's what He does.  God's culture.

But wait there's more ... Next time.
Christina
Principle:  There will always be an enemy.
Principle:  We operate from a position of victory.
Principle:  There is value in the battle.

So why an enemy in the first place?  Good question!  One that I found an answer for in Judges 3:1 - 11.  Let's go back to our good friends, the Israelites.  When they reached the place God had promised them, full of full-time residents, they had to fight.  These enemies were left (God did it on purpose) to test Israel.  In fact, if I may quote Judges 3:2, "He (God) did it to teach warfare to generations of Israelites who had no experience with battle."

Enemies test two questions:
Will I obey God?
Will I believe God?

Without an enemy, Israel would never know the meaning of faith.  Faith is faith only when it is tested.  The enemy was designed to be used by God to test their faith and their belief in what God had already told them.  They were positioned for victory:  You will take the land.  Test came.  They didn't fight their enemy.  Long-term, their lack of fighting their enemy caused them to sin.  Instead of positioning themselves as Victors, they assumed the position of Victim.

Ok, ok - this all sounds so holy.  Obey God.  Believe what He says.  Yadda yadda.  Real life example I'm right in the middle of:  health.

I have faced the enemy of food for years.  Sounds weird, doesn't it?  Something designed to nourish - when misused - can serve to destroy.  I know that in 2000, God did something in my heart that changed the way I look at food.  However, my aging body has done things - like morph and transition - that frankly freaks me out.  Years of labeling foods as "unclean" and "forbidden" have reduced my metabolism to a less than stellar functioning organ that results in a body that refuses to budge in size.  The amount of food I eat should not result in the size of my jeans.

Just keeping it real, but I really don't like what I see in the mirror.  Another long-term enemy that I know God is battling.  My role is to keep fighting.  So what does fighting look like?:

1.  Every time I hear the Holy Spirit tell me to eat something I have put on my "forbidden" list - I eat it.
2.  Every time I look in the mirror and start condemning each flaw I see - I reject what feels like truth.
3.  Every time I go out for a walk - I pray.  I pray that health trumps pant size and the joy of health will trump the temporary high of a reduced number of the scale.
4.  I trust God even when I see no result.
5.  I believe God when He tells me what He thinks of me (Truth) - even if I don't think the same thing (Fact).

You see it's acts of obedience in the face of what you normally do - and have done - that fights our enemies.  And then - because God is for us, has placed us in positions of victory, and is fighting for us - something happens.  If you've fought your own battle then you know about what I'm talking .  Warriors have moments when they see the enemy defeated without explanation.  When what I do (that should not be enough to destroy something way bigger than myself) is defeated, I know that something supernatural has taken place.  God comes in.  He fights the battle.  When what I knew would take years of "work" and effort is completed effortlessly, I know God showed up.

Today I battle by putting on my yoga pants, sleeveless work out top, running shoes, and my brave face to go walk.  Tomorrow, I know victory comes.  Just as a gal named Deborah in Judges 4 believed God for victory, I believe the same promise she was given:  "Get ready!  The Lord is marching ahead of you."  It may not come tomorrow, or the next day, but it WILL come.  And believing this truth is a battle won!!

Warrior Princess,
Christina
I have the vocabulary down ... in my circles.  Faith is a word that is tossed about ... a lot.  When I was 19 years old, I stepped into this great unknown subject ... leaping into with eyes wide open ... this very real yet very unknown life of ... FAITH.

As with most things in life that we make long, committed, decisions about I knew the risks of choosing FAITH.  I had, afterall, been in the right environment to embrace it.  It wasn't so much the fear of the embracing of FAITH ... for me it was the fear of NOT embracing FAITH.

I'm 47 years old.  I'm not having a mid-life crisis ... (I don't think) ... but I am discovering that FAITH looks really different at this stage in my life.  FAITH at 19 took some guts.  FAITH to cross that invisible and tangible all at the same time boundary of committing my life to a Person and a World System that went counter culture to my ... well, my culture.

FAITH as a mature* adult (*no poll taken to proove the adjective I just self-prescribed ) at times takes more guts.  My enemy is experience and self-reliance.  At my age, when the One who I committed my life to at 19 calls my name ... I use experience and self-reliance as my filters.

This morning, as with most mornings, I sat in my cozy chair with my coffee and read some statements that started my pulse racing, my palms to get clammy, and my head to nod in up and down motions of silent agreement.  I'm afraid.  When new things come my way ... I tend to see the outcome of the new thing on one side of a fence ... and me, with all my trying and tiredness and catching up to get it right ... on the other side of the fence.  Here's what's weird.  Usually, I see God on the side I'm trying to get to ... waiting for me to do my trying and get all tired and get it all right before I can come to Him ... to where He is ... to His side.

Wait for it ... this is where my new 47-year-old FAITH comes in ... kinda like a super hero ... and barges down the door of my wrong thinking.

  • "I will help you learn to follow me confidently rather than fearfully."  (Jesus Lives by Sarah Young, pg. 356).
  • "If the Lord delights in a man's ways, he makes his steps firm; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand."  Psalm 37:23-24
He knows my fear ... and He's on the same side of the fence I am ... looking at the new ... with me ... showing me the way to hike my leg over and get to the other side!  Because I have an active imagination, I even picture Him as being the one to clasp His hands together, bending down, looking up with wildly excited eyes, asking me to trust Him as He gives me a boost!  That just makes me laugh ... out loud.  And then, I realize the reason for the laugh ... brought on by the realizatin that the thought itself came from Him!

And so, another a holy moment has been created.  These are the kind of moments that have brought me to this 47-year-old kind of FAITH.  Fear has been recognized ... it's still there ... but I put my foot in the clasped hands of One I have trusted since I was 19 ... and begin to climb on over this fence.

Hiking my leg,
christina




This morning as I sit with my cup of coffee, my Bible, and my view ...  overlooking the leaves that have lived their short days of Fall - dying on the vines  ... I'm struck by a few of the most profound things that has surfaced to the top of an experience I've had this week.

Parents know their children.  From the day these little human creatures make their way down the birth canal and wind up wrapped in clean blankets - laid upon Mamma's chests - they are somehow known by their parents.  The little way they stretch their tiny little appendages reminds a Momma of movement inside her miracle incubator tummy.  The way she makes a tiny little face when Daddy feeds her too much oatmeal ... known and etched in a Daddy's heart.  Those fleeting days of intimacy lay deep foundations when they leave the nest.  A feeling, a knowing, a catch in our Spirits ... we may not know the details but we can feel the outline of the specific activity that is occurring in our child.  Parents know.

God uses other people.  From the first moment I heard the story of Christmas, I longed to be a fly on the wall of the nativity.  As a little girl with a very vivid imagination, Christmas stories of Jesus' birth always included me, somehow in full costume, incorporate in the events.  In my mind, I wanted to so badly be there in that moment when eternity crashed real time.  My whole life I've wanted to touch God ... see His face ... be physically near Him.  One day that will be possible.  But now in the "Zwischen Ziet" - a great German phrase for "in the meantime" ... God sends people as His representatives that I can "touch" in some way ... and who inevitable "touch" my life.  God has profoundly given people to comfort, guide, expose, enlighten, encourage, and be givers of gifts.

There's no place like home.  The Elledge's have been the most grateful recipients of the gift of a plane ticket ... that brings the one that has lived so far away from us ... home.  Home.  I am already envisioning my blond-haired beauty walking through the arrival gates at the Vienna airport.  I already know what I am going to wear.  I am counting down the days.  I've been planning meals that I know will warm her tiny little belly and fill her with a sense of "home".  I've been creating long periods of "blank space" on my calendar while she is "home".  I can already picture her in her bed, with her blanket.  I can't wait for this girl to get "home".    "Home" where she can sleep late, let down, cry, laugh, gripe, be made fun of (nothing mean) and joke around, get on the nerves of her siblings one moment and encourage them the next.  To hear her laugh at something I do and see her smooch on her sisters cheeks.  Wherever we all are ...  is ... home.

At the risk of making this way too long of a blog, the biggest thing I've learned is how to grieve alongside another.  I've been in a season where I know the Spirit has been teaching me things.  It's not always been fun.  It's not always been visible.  I've felt myself in the classroom, taking notes, being prepared.  When the unexpected happened this week, my response took me by surprise.  Instead of saying the proverbial "I told you so" ... instead of some personal satisfaction in being "right" ... came an overwhelming ability to grieve.  As they hurt, I hurt.  The details didn't matter.  The heart mattered.

That's when I heard and felt the Spirit smile.  That's what He had been teaching me.  When I lean into Him, I'm going to respond out of instinct like He does.  When we hurt, He hurts.  He's not an accusing Father with pointer finger shaking in our face.  His arms are open ready for us to fall into them.  He doesn't care what we did before, He only cares we are there and falling into His arms.

This week was a first.  In our family nucleus, we experienced a life event that none of us has traversed through.  The waters have been strong with emotional undercurrents.  The distance of being on two different continents has escalated the pain.  We are still walking through the ordeal ... but walking through we are!

walking and learning,
christina
This morning as I was getting ready for my day, I heard this song called "Hello, Lord".   I've been in a Sara Groves kick.  I love her melancholy voice, heart piercing lyrics and raw honesty.  I had never heard this song and it reflected what I've experienced before in my walk with Jesus - times of silence.

Too many times, we equate the inability to hear God's voice with sin or failure on our part.  That's so like us - mankind - to shame ourselves. The enemy of our souls has done a darn good job of creating and helping us develop a strong sense of works within the "church".  If I pray harder, work harder, serve harder, hear harder, listen harder ... then.  Then?  Really?

It's an old adage that says "Silence is golden."  However, modern Christianity says quite the contrary.  Silence usually spells trouble.  We are praised and admired when we are able to hear clear direction and act upon it.  When there is nothing, we measure our value against our inactivity and come up with inferiority.

After spending and emerging from many months in a "waiting" room, I have learned that silence can be freedom.  When we crave answers to help our crisis the very answers we are asking for ... if answered int eh way we would desire them to be ... would be catastrophe.  In silence, new things are being worked out for our good that are so usually disproportionally opposite to what our tiny little minds can think of or imagine.  I am a testimony to this crazy process of silence that brings you to new places.


This is process of learned behavior.  When we choose to learn the lessons of silence ... and rest of the abundant adequacy of a God and Savior to work out that which we cannot see on our behalf ... be it nerve racking and scary ... it's called rest.  An in it's simplest form, rest if faith.  Choose faith, friend who may be walking in silence.  Silence is still golden.  Silence offers the opportunity for rest ... for faith ... for new beginnings and extravagant new things.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd2nAWoS_j0&index=5&list=RD3ozpb6R8YSw
Life, it seems, is always a road with two parallel paths going the same direction.  One path:  the less desirable (pain, surprise, the unexpected, the heart-breaking).  One path:  the more desirable (joy in the simplest of things, new discovery, little moments that take your breath away).


This week, news of Chris' brother and his life-threatening health crisis resided on the less desirable path.  Updates from home, phone calls to sisters, lots of blanks to be filled in with details scattered the path.  And yet ... the other path held the more desirable.  Libby was so moved by the news of her Uncle, she felt she needed to give up her allowance (10 euro a  month) to give to her Daddy over the next 5 months in order to, in her 11-year-old mind, buy him a plane ticket home.

Two paths.

What I'm discovering, that as a child of God, both paths help me - draw me - move me - usher me into an understanding of more.  More of Him!

As an estranged brother lays in a hospital bed, suffering, I am moved to compassion and desire for him to know a Father who lays next to him ... desiring him to come to him ... and allow him to make everything all right.  The human tendency is to think too much wrong can't be "righted", too much water has been allowed to run under the bridge, too much bad has been committed ... it's just all too much.  From what I read about God and from what 46 years on planet earth has allowed me to experience, it's just the opposite.  The more the wrong, the water, the bad ... the more the love, the forgiveness, the opportunity for new.

"Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.  Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery!  Replace the evil years with good."  Psalm 90:14-15

I am a creature of habit.  I love to have a routine.  It doesn't have to be the same one (in fact it's better if it's different) but I do like the feel of a good rhythm.  This morning, however, my rhythm has been broken.  Hormones, bad dreams, being too hot, then being too cold forced me to the couch.  Then, as the alarm spoke it's ungodly message of morning, I politely dismissed it's request, passed the morning routine off to my Chris, and went back to bed.

Waking up at 8:30 a.m. instead of 6:30 a.m. my schedule is "off".  I went ahead and fixed my coffee, my yogurt and grains, brought my journal and Bible to my table in my room ... and began to let my mind wander.

I read some blogs of other writers I both like and am challenged by ... turned on the "Simon Burch" soundtrack that sends me into reflective thinking ... and here I am.  No Bible reading ... no journaling ... just me at the computer.

More.  Ask.  These two words have not been a part of my normal spiritual routine.  I've asked God to bless others with more ... I've asked God to bring peace ... I've asked God to remove pain ... I've asked God to change me ... I've asked a lot ... but I haven't ... in the past .. asked God for MORE.  More of what?


  • More of Him ... of who HE is ... 
  • More of His Holy Spirit ... and the truth of the "secret weapon" we have in knowing Him ...
  • More of His provision ... and really believing that God is a loving Father who gives His kids bread - not stones!
  • More of Freedom ... truth brings freedom ...
  • More of Joy ... being giddy over what He speaks to me in my innermost parts and trusting what He says ...
  • More miracles ... of all kinds! ... haven't seen a bunch of fish in my fridge being used to feed 5.000 but I have seen my share of God doing the miraculous in our lives!!


So ... I'm learning to ask MORE.  It is a learning curve.  I have had to set aside my religious upbringing and tradition and dive right smack in the middle of the Bible to see what God wants me to ask Him for ... and it's a mind blower!  I like asking for more.  The more I ask ... I ask for more!  I'm breaking a rhythm that has settled in my spiritual routine ... and I LIKE IT!

listening to my soundtrack ... and doing a lot of asking,
christina
This morning, as I sat near my open window, listening to the cars rumble into the city for another work day, I read the following:
"Hidden among you, O Israel, are things set apart for the Lord.  You will never defeat your enemies until you remove these things from among you. (Joshua 7:13)"
Because I've gotten used to and have asked for the volume of the Holy Spirit's voice to be turned up in my life, I've come to recognize a "moment".  Usually there is a stirring deep within me that tells me to pay attention.  This was one of those "moments".

I let the words sink in and then picked up my pen and wrote:
"Hidden among you, Church, are things set apart for the Lord:  money, buildings, talents, sins of idolatry, lusts, materialism, power, lack of knowledge of the Holy Spirit, who you are in Christ, God's word, accountability, legalism, systems, passiveness, lack of purpose, the need to fit in.  You will never defeat the enemy or be attractive to anybody until you remove these things from among you."
I believe these words to be thoughts the Holy Spirit has toward us - those who are followers of Christ - those who are "the Church".  The people driving their cars to work outside my window need to see that following Christ makes a difference in your life.  Having an encounter - daily encounters - with the living God of the Universe makes life attractive.

Yet, the Church seems ineffective.  Why?  I think I'll let Joshua answer that ... we've never removed "these things" from among ourselves.  Somehow its OK to not be holy, spend a lot of money on buildings, hold up a standard that is impossible to reach, look down our noses, condemn one another, judge, criticize, spend so much time in a bubble that we forget our purpose.  If we could "remove" the hidden things ... starting first with ourselves ... could we see "the Church" becoming an attractive component to society?

Don't get me started on what that would look like!  I will say it wouldn't be a building that gets filled up on Sundays and stays empty all week.

Forgive the rant ... I was having a "moment"!  But in my ranting, I hope we all stop to inquire of the "hidden things" in our own life's that if exposed would bring a whole lot of victory!

Doing my own inventory,
christina


Today is another goodbye.


This time, we say goodbye to Chris' Mom - Shirley.  This is where the rubber hits the road emotionally.  Letting go of this hug requires super natural strength ... trusting in the One that has knitted us together in a Mother/Daughter relationship will also hold us together as we watch each other step away.

I love that God reminds me of His love, His parenting, His Way of planning a time and place where goodbyes won't exsist and steps will always lead us closer to those we love ... and to Him.

In the meantime, we walk in our humanity ... and take our steps. Tears, pits and all ... He's there ... loving us.

More steps,
christina
I love how this picture symbolizes our family right now:  steps.  Steps can be surefooted.  Steps can be made with a pit in our stomach.  But, one thing for sure ... steps take us from one place and lead us to another.

Our family is stepping out ... again.  This time, four sets of steps will lead us back to Vienna while another set of steps stay here.

Surefooted steps lead my Chris to lead the rest of us back to a new thing with a new sending agency in Vienna:  Fahrenheit!  Fahrenheit is a mentoring agency, allowing us to use our gifts and talents to do what we love to do.  It is birthed out of a dream, I believe in God's heart, to see university students and business people connected with mentors that will live life- intentionally - alongside them.  Partners have come alongside Fahrenheit both financially and as mentors.  As we step out in the beginning phases of this venture ... we are surefooted.

At the same time, I have discovered that surefooted steps can also bring a pit in the stomach.  The pit is not lack of desire to follow the dream.  The pit is the willful knowing of what is being given up to follow that dream.  Pits have no bottoms.  Yet, the pit drives me to cling to God.  God brings peace in the pit.  The pit is not bigger than the one who carries me through it.

More information on Fahrenheit and this journey to follow.  I simply wanted to express this leg of our journey ... the steps ... the pit ... the surefooted.  On my own and in my flesh ... this journey would be impossible.  The fear of the unknown is so ... unknown I would turn back and settle for normal.  However, because the Spirit of God is active, adventurous, calling me to deeper places ... and deeper pits ... I have to step ... into the unknown ... and in the stepping I discover more of God.  It's a sacred holiness ... this stepping into the unknown.  These steps are taking me ... and my family ... from one place (spiritually) to another.  I can't go back ...

Stepping,
christina

Years ago, when our girls were small, we sensed the need for more parenting help.  I think Addison was in the 5th grade ... so that made Parker around first grade ... and Libby a toddler.  Libby being a toddler - whew!  Yep, we needed help!

Addisons' school offered a free parenting class called ... "Parenting with Love and Logic" (Foster Cline and Jim Fay).  It was the right tool at the right time.  It revolutionized our parenting skills.  And, just for the record, I am not getting paid by this organization to promote their material (oh, that I was) but it's that good and I highly recommend it for any one needing a few extra tricks up their sleeve ... I mean parenting tools.

With love, your offer your children choices with an end goal in mind.  You want them to brush their teeth - end goal.  You lovingly offer logical choices for them to achieve the goal - "Would you like to put on your PJ's before or after you brush your teeth?"  See how this works?  Good stuff.

Right now I'm in another dilemma.  It has nothing to do with my parenting, but rather the way God parents me.  I love Him.  I know He loves me.  I live in a human body.  I have to make logical choices to live on the planet.  However, because I am also a person who has a spirit ... sometimes my spirit gives me other "vibes" that go against my human logic.  That's where the dilemma kicks in:  do I act in faith or stick to human logic?

Right now, my Chris and I are making choices to follow what the spirit is telling us.  It kinda goes against our human logic.  It's scary and exciting all at the same time!  Have you ever been to an amusement park and were waiting in line for a gnarly ride.  You want to get the adrenaline high but because of the sheer awesomeness of the ride, you don't want to die!  At the end, windblown and breathless, you feel the need to ride again.  That's where we are in our journey toward listening to God.  We've tasted and seen the thrill of radical obedience.  And honestly, we want more of the blessing that comes from following Him.

Now, He's asking us to step into the deep water.  I'm kinda thinking that God, the master of parenting with love and logic, has given us this awesome choice.  Obey me ... even if you tremble ... for a greater goal:  knowing me more intimately.  The alternative ... don't obey.  Don't know what's it like to walk in deep water.  He's a gentleman.  He's not gonna force me.  I get to choose.

Right now, I choose obedience ... while I shake a little in my boots,
christina
I was recently talking with a new friend.  Sometimes when you're telling your story, you see yourself in a new light.  "It's nice that you can do that," was her response to me making a choice to trust God in a certain area of my life.

Her words still dance in my head two days later.  In reality, I don't see it as "nice" that I can stand in faith on the issue about which I spoke.  It's not nice to look like an unprepared adult.  It's not nice to wonder in which country you should enroll your children for school.  It's not nice to still live out of  a suitcase.  It's not nice wondering where someone should mail something to you because you are not sure where you will be living.  It's not nice waiting for promises that have value only in your Spirit.  It's not nice ... it's faith.  She helped me see that.

Faith isn't always fun ... requires surety in things that have only been spoken in your heart ... usually counters human logic ... keeps itself quite and expecting ... waits until the last minute ... keeps you up at night ... is rarely defined ... causes you to doubt ... is a noun and a verb ... that allows you to understand that God never - ever - lives in a box.

Feeling somewhat like a member of the crew of the Dawn Treader (Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Chronicles of Narnia series) in the past I've looked at living by faith as entrance into the Dark Island, waiting for the Great Sea Serpent to attack, pull me under, and devour my life.  After many years of trusting God, He's redefined my faith by ... acts of faith!  Often we think living by faith will not be for our good, is out of our reach, or simply requires too much of us.  Lies, friends.  All LIES!  Every time I trust Him and choose to walk by faith I gain!  Going through the Dark Island and destroying the Great Sea Serpent brought the crew closer to the shore of Aslan ... the place that was their destiny.

I'm walking through my faith ... learning to ignore the things that cause me to see God as anything but the Rewarder of my Faith ... and pressing in to reach the shore ... the things He has promised ... which are my destiny.

If we, who say we know Jesus, and are being filled with life by His Spirit - would dare to live by faith - what, pray tell, would our lives produce in ourselves ... in others ... in a watching world?!

not being nice but holding on to faith,
christina

I'm still pondering this video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3BMtTHw6Mw

The things that stick out to me now are:

suffering.
crushed rose petals.
crushing exudes a fragrance.

Joni (in the above clip) discusses the crushing of the rose petals in terms of marriage.  Boy, is she right!  As I think over almost 22 years of marriage, it's the crushing - suffering - that has brought out the best in us, in our marriage, in our character as a couple.

However, today I think of the crushing of the rose petals in terms of life in general.  Suffering has crushed things in me that quite frankly needed crushing:  my pride, unhealed places, selfishness, perspective.  When I suffer, if I allow it ... the process becomes a pleasant fragrance.

Here's the kicker, I fight the process.  I want a quick fix, a band aid, a soothing balm to heal the pain and move right on into "normal".  I don't want to suffer.  I don't want to hurt.  Yet, as I look back on my marriage and the places my feet have made indention's on planet earth ... some of the best things I have now are due to suffering.

Recently, someone was recalling their current hardships.  At the end of the conversation, they said what so many of us say when we are trying to bear up under the weight of suffering ... "but I know God won't give me anymore than I can handle."  I said an unspoken, "Amen, sister" under my breath and moved on.

Later, I got to thinking about her statement!  The more I thought about it, the more I began to sense that it's a lie we tell ourselves to try to make us feel that the current struggle is something we can handle.  Truth is ... we are weaklings that haven't a fighting chance of survival.

Anything I walk through, I walk alongside a Comforter who is blazing the path for me.  In reality, however, I look at the circumstance and freak out, then figure out my strategy, then jump in with both feet.  Too often I find myself bobbing for air in a sea of trouble of my own making and wonder why God didn't show up!  However, God desires to stand there with me on the onset ... surveying the land so to speak.  My job is to look to Him ... to ask "OK, so there we have it.  What do we do?" ... better yet ... "What do you want to do?  I'll follow!"

That's hard, isn't it?  I feel I have to "do" to make things happen.  I feel that if I don't "do" then God won't "do" for me ... and then what?

Part of the crushing of the rose petals for me at present is to wait ... on God ... and not on me.  What He says, I'll do.  I don't have to "do" to find His approval.  I just have to show up ... ask ... and wait for His response.  That's scary.  But then again ... that's faith, isn't it?

holding petals,
christina

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I love to write. I love to tell stories. I've been writing since I was a kid; it's just something I do. With a cup of coffee in one hand, I attempt to show our ordinary life in an up close, personal, and authentic way. I make no apologies for my belief in a Life Author, God, who desires to show us who He is. Thus, I see our journeys as purposeful adventures. I am a wife. My Chris and I have been married since 1991. Everyday I wake up and find him in my bed, looking at me with no makeup on and dark circles under my eyes, I thank GOD he is a man of faithful endurance! I am Mom to 3 girls: Addison, Parker and Libby. They challenge me to be all I was created to be. I hope you come away with something useful, inspiring, humorous, or helpful. That's my goal ... and why I scribble words on a page. Enjoy!
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Fahrenheit Mentoring is a mentoring agency designed to help peole along the journey of life. My husband and I founded Fahrenheit in 2014 out of an expression of what we've done for over 25 years: mentor. To learn more, check out our website.

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