"We can not change what happened but we can change how we relate to it."
Eva Kur

This quote is good - really good.  Eva Kur was an Auschwitz concentration camp survivor during the horror that was the Jewish Holocaust during World War 2.    She and twin sister, Miriam, were part of a selected group of twins that were used by the infamous Dr. Mengele for medical experimentation when they were 10 years old.  She and her sister were the sole survivors of their family.

After the liberation of the camp and her freedom from horrific circumstances, she returned home to Romania where a new Communist regime took control.  After initially becoming a party member at the age of 14, she quickly saw the ugly restrictions of such a government.  Having regained a sense of normalcy with her twin sister and an Aunt, they applied and gained, after two years of waiting, visa's to resettle in Isreal.

In my obsession with Eva Kur, I have discovered a certain mental attitude that dominated her being.  It's apparent as a 10-year-old concentration camp prisoner, as a teen living in a communist country, and now as a traveling lecturer and speaker: she lived above circumstances.

Despite the debate, there is an absolute truth.  Absolute truth says that we live as foreigners in a strange land*.  As children of God - everyone made in His image -  we have a choice.  We can accept the absolute truth and embrace the plan He has prescribed for living life - abundant and to the full, I might add, or we can reject that plan.  A harsh dictator God is not.  A loving Father who gives US the choice He is!

Because God is all-knowing and wise, He knew that keeping our eyes on this world would cause us to live empty lives.*  When He says empty,  He uses the Greek word mataios which refers to futile, worthless, hollow.  When people live "empty" they elevate things as important on a scale absent of absolute truth:

• wealth
• power
• political correctness

When I realize my value to the Creator of the Universe and live in His power, I resign my rights as a citizen of the world and elevate my status as a citizen of heaven.  My scales of justice will look vastly different from the "world".

• wealth I may achieve, but it won't own me
• power I may achieve, but I will use it justly
• political correctness may or may not be achieved, but I will treat every human as equal

Eva Kur lived abover her circumstances.  Had she adopted the despicable standards of the camp in which she was imprisoned, her life would have been empty.  Her standards would have dropped to the level of her captors.  She maintained and lived by another set of rules.  For her, it was not acceptable nor a viable option to compromise her life philosophy to the world in which she lived.  Her very survival is accredited to living counter her culture.

May I suggest that if you say you believe in an Absolute truth and align yourself with being a follower of Christ, you, like Eva Kur, will live above your circumstances.  Jesus called us to be light. Light shows up most vividly in dark places.  Our identity as Christians may not be popular in this modern world.  But dare I suggest that just like Eva, it will be the very key to our survival.  Others notice Different.   Different, because of Christ, attracts.  Living nonempty in a world full of empty is shocking.

Food for thought,
Christina


* 1 Peter 1:17
* 1 Peter 1:18


(click here to view Eva Kur Interview)

I'm still pondering this video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3BMtTHw6Mw

The things that stick out to me now are:

suffering.
crushed rose petals.
crushing exudes a fragrance.

Joni (in the above clip) discusses the crushing of the rose petals in terms of marriage.  Boy, is she right!  As I think over almost 22 years of marriage, it's the crushing - suffering - that has brought out the best in us, in our marriage, in our character as a couple.

However, today I think of the crushing of the rose petals in terms of life in general.  Suffering has crushed things in me that quite frankly needed crushing:  my pride, unhealed places, selfishness, perspective.  When I suffer, if I allow it ... the process becomes a pleasant fragrance.

Here's the kicker, I fight the process.  I want a quick fix, a band aid, a soothing balm to heal the pain and move right on into "normal".  I don't want to suffer.  I don't want to hurt.  Yet, as I look back on my marriage and the places my feet have made indention's on planet earth ... some of the best things I have now are due to suffering.

Recently, someone was recalling their current hardships.  At the end of the conversation, they said what so many of us say when we are trying to bear up under the weight of suffering ... "but I know God won't give me anymore than I can handle."  I said an unspoken, "Amen, sister" under my breath and moved on.

Later, I got to thinking about her statement!  The more I thought about it, the more I began to sense that it's a lie we tell ourselves to try to make us feel that the current struggle is something we can handle.  Truth is ... we are weaklings that haven't a fighting chance of survival.

Anything I walk through, I walk alongside a Comforter who is blazing the path for me.  In reality, however, I look at the circumstance and freak out, then figure out my strategy, then jump in with both feet.  Too often I find myself bobbing for air in a sea of trouble of my own making and wonder why God didn't show up!  However, God desires to stand there with me on the onset ... surveying the land so to speak.  My job is to look to Him ... to ask "OK, so there we have it.  What do we do?" ... better yet ... "What do you want to do?  I'll follow!"

That's hard, isn't it?  I feel I have to "do" to make things happen.  I feel that if I don't "do" then God won't "do" for me ... and then what?

Part of the crushing of the rose petals for me at present is to wait ... on God ... and not on me.  What He says, I'll do.  I don't have to "do" to find His approval.  I just have to show up ... ask ... and wait for His response.  That's scary.  But then again ... that's faith, isn't it?

holding petals,
christina

I recently read ("90 Days of God's Goodness" by Randy Alcorn, p. 124) how the Psalms contain both complaint and praise.  An example:  "Though you have made me see trouble, many and bitter; you will restore my life again."  (Ps. 71)  Mr. Alcorn quotes C.S. Lewis on the occasion of his wifes' cancer diagnosis.  Lewis says, "We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

Age and experience have taught me a few things about this life of following Jesus.  I am learning that C.S. Lewis is painfully correct in his worry.  Suffering is a part of this life.  We look at suffering as a thing to be avoided.  Yet, in my reading of the Book, I can't see where Jesus advocated dodging suffering.  I am even more thrilled when I read that he wasn't a fan of  ... even asked his Father to remove if possible ... suffering.

Somehow modern Christianity often gets lumped into the same category as fairy tales.  Fairytale endings always end ... happily ever after.  Some "brands" of Christianity sell us the same potions ... just take Jesus and life is happily ever after.  That, my friends, is simply not true.  Talk to those who have taken Jesus and paid the price with their lives.  Talk to those sitting in prison cells paying the high price of taking Jesus.  Where is their "happily ever after"?

In my humanness, I tend to fight suffering.  I don't want to hurt.  I'm into self-preservation.  However, what I am learning is that complaining - admitting that suffering hurts ... followed by praise - the recognition that God is bigger than I am ... is a path of two roads.  These two roads keep me anchored and true to myself ... but the road of complaining leads me to the road of praise.  The road of praise is where the power lies.  The road of praise is where the complaining is soothed by the healing balm of a big God ... with a bigger purpose than me experiencing my "happily ever after".

We will encounter suffering.  Suffering most hurts when it seems unjustified.  However, traveling these two roads of complaint and then praise ... for me is the key to seeing a bigger picture.  Suffering allows me to see God and His purposes are all about ... God.  He is wise.  He knows what will shape my character to more resemble Jesus.  I don't always have to like it ... so I can complain ... but then I have to travel the other road ... the road of praise.

Traveling along the other road,
christina

My oldest is making her way ... out.  She is preparing for departure.  She's checked in and waiting for boarding.  

Addison, Libby and Parker ... in a former Season of life!

This morning I have time ... I'm making time to write.  Because words find their way into my head, lodge in my heart, and rattle around my brain most days ... I construct written pieces of material in the imaginary world that is my brain all the time.  However, it's only when I sit down at the computer do they find their way out in black and white.

Here are things that have taken place in real life since the last time I wrote:  a good friend had a baby, two friends are suffering from unknown illnesses, a 7th grade slumber party, coffee with friends, a birthday celebration, a prayer time with students, valentines day breakfast with my girls, laundry, death of an old friend, snow, and scatter a few lunches being packed and made, worries being smoothed by motherly wisdom, kisses and hugs, and the occational arguement over things that really don't matter ... that about sums it up.

As is my usual custom, I started my morning with really strong coffee and some time to sit and be quiet.  I read the following.  The words jumped right off the page and created an "Ah Ha" moment for me.

"Thank me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still.  Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again.  Some of the greatest works in My kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells.  Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances.  Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to Me." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, pg. 49)

As I have struggled these last moths with serotonin that lives well below the average, I've fought it.  I've not been thankful.  I've wished it away.  I've waited ... impatiently ... to be active again.  But, I'm on a learning curve.  Somewhere in the middle of this health stuff I got it.  I got that I am not the ruler of my world.  Shock.  I learned that when I fight what is not in hopes that the fighting will produce what I want ... I get so frustrated I could explode.  I've learned to cope.  I'm learning that success doesn't mean what I do.

So here's the kicker ... my serotonin is on the rise!  I don't have medical proof as I don't get blood drawn until March, however, I know.  I know because I can do more!  That's ironic, isn't it?

I love the part about getting older when you realize you've learned a great life lesson and you actually apply it.  That's what I'm learning now.  With new energy, I'm not jumping right back into the saddle.  I have to be a little more strategic in planning my days.  If I know something "big" is taking place I have to plan to rest.  Overall, "normal" is within reaching distance.  But, I don't want old habbits to erase the lessons learned.  Lessons like realizing that life is really more about the journey.  I'm seeing seasons emerge in my life as I watch the lives of those around me.

My friend who had the baby ... oh the memories that brings back!  The joy of seeing a baby human in your arms that lived in your womb ... wow!  And yet, that season of my life is gone.  My baby is slowly packing to leave my nest.


 My two friends that are suffering from unknown illnesses.  The heartache of living in weakness ... wow.  And yet that season in my life, too, is gone.  When Anxiety reared its head for the first time all those years ago, it stopped me in it's tracks.  Little did I know what a comrade it would become.

A 7th grade slumber party reminds me of how long ago this body was in 7th grade!  The hormones and hairdo's of this season in life ... wow.  And, thankfully, that season in my own life is gone ... long gone.  It has come full circle as I watch my own 7th grade daughter step into this phase of life following my footsteps.

Each season of life is so full, so rich, so sprinkled with "hard" and "easy" at the same time.  When we are smack dab in the middle of them they seem so eternal.  However, a little experience and perspective reminds me that seasons are just that ... seasons.  They go.  They don't last as long as we anticipate.  Instead of grasping too tightly or longing for them to last a little longer ... we've got to hold them with loose fingers.  That's really the hard part, isn't it?

My sweet friends baby is gonna grow up way too fast ... my friends will get well ... my 7th grader will one day be a college graduate.  Seasons.  Living in the moment, aware of the One who holds it ... and controls it ... that's the key in living them.