Blessings

Below you will find the words to a most beautiful song by Laura Story. You can hear the song on YouTube at the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ&feature=related

Last week a friend sent me this link. I cried that ugly, snotty nose cry that isn’t pretty. I’m not sure why the tears flowed so freely. Tears could have been sweet release from a heart that feels guilty that I expect freedom from pain … while at the same time realizing that pain is the one thing that brings me to my knees and allows me to feel His chin resting on my head. Tears could have been the reliving of a thousand experiences that were so painful to walk through … but having walked through them allowed me to really live. Tears could have been for sweet teachers at ISCV that just got news their baby has to stay another month in the hospital … feeling the kick in the stomach from the news and the firm hand of Jesus all at the same time. Who knows why the tears … they just came.

Here are the words:

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family
Protection while we sleep

We pray for healing
For prosperity
We pray for your mighty hand
To ease our suffering

All the while
You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much
To give us lesser things

Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know you’re near
What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise.

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel you near

We doubt your goodness
We doubt your love
As if every promise from your Word is not enough

All the while you hear each desperate plead
The longer we have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart that this is not
That this is not our home

Every word of this song stings my heart yet settles my soul. I doubt His goodness … and His love … and treat His promises from His Word like they aren’t enough. Yet, I do know and have learned that the pain reminds me that this is not my home.

God may send prosperity … but if He doesn’t … I am made better for the lack of it. He may send raindrops … when I think I need sunshine … and that’s just OK. When I reach heaven, I’m sure those things that seemed to bring the most pain, will be the sweetest crowns I can lay at the feet of the One … the very sweetest things.

I sometimes get mopey about the distance between here and the place most of our friends and family live. I get sad thinking about our parents getting older ... and feeling sorry for myself when I want to go to my sister's play and can't because it's just too far away ... and feel like a night out with my friend Marti would be just what I need ... or chicken fajitas in the crock-pot from Shannon would be the perfect meal ... just little things that sometimes ... just sometimes make me doubt His goodness. And then, if I look around me ... it takes only a minute to snap out of my longing for what I think I need to realize He has me where He wants me. What seems to be minor longings and trials ... are His mercies toward me. When I long, I remember that neither there nor here is my home. My heart finds rest in Him alone. Where He is ... is home.

Press on … in the raindrops and heartache. The journey will come to an end … and be sweet … so sweet.