What a MESS!

What does a hair meltdown really mean? If you are a girl, you know what I am talking about! Why is it that a bad hair day can send me in an emotional spiral that ends with me drowning in my sorrows, desiring nothing more than to devour a whole dark chocolate candy bar?

And, what is it with women and our need for security: emotional, financial, relational, and with the spaces we call our homes? I consider myself a person of foundational girth, who doesn’t bend by bad news or cry at the thought of giving up something I call mine. Yet, upon finding out that our flat is pretty much sold and we will be moving … I’m shaken.

This same emotional being that I find myself to be can also be the strictest of disciplinarians. This week I had to “lay down the law” with one of my precious offspring. As she sat on my bed wiping back tears of disappointment in herself, I continued to banter on and on about the importance of pulling herself together. She didn’t need that … or did she? No emotions were spilling out of my fountain … nope, not me. I was the strong voice of hard disciple. Really?

Then, in the same week, I have a breakfast date with my man. We had a great morning “catching up” on life, calendar, plans, and kids. I was giddy and light. I always feel pretty and thin and young when I’m on a date with my Chris. (In fact, it’s my goal to have one every other day to keep my self-esteem in check!) Remember, this was the same girl who had an emotional breakdown over hair, got set upside down by a house, laid down the law, and now … am a giggly, sappy woman in love. Wow!

I’m a mess most days. This morning … (and let’s take a little road trip here … while I tell you that I am totally loving our September! The weather is pretty much perfect! The temps are cool in the morning, warming up just enough to take your sweater off, and then cool down again in the evening. Every day we have sun. Every day I feel happy. In fact, if I was a betting woman, I’d say we’ve had more sun in September than the entire summer combined! Now … back to our original story. Thanks for taking this little trip with me!) … I’m reading in Genesis. Abraham, Jacob, Isaac … you know these guys of whom I speak. All real pillars of the bible, people you can put on your top 1o to look up to. Guess what … they were messes too!

The more I walk with God … and hear His voice above the clang of all others … I’m reminded that life is more about the contrasts and pitfalls of our own selves … and learning that God can use those, change those, redesign those things as He chooses … to make something beautiful out of … a mess.

Psalm 1 says that God watches over the path of the godly. He said godly … not perfect. Godly doesn’t mean we’ve mastered life. Godly means we we’ve mastered our pride … knowing we are a mess on our own … but a masterpiece with and in and through God.

Messy … yet a masterpiece,
Christina