It's always looks like this when I am in my Fathers' Nest

Recently I've been accosted by the words of a song.  These things made of alphabet letters reached right into the middle, the center, the core of my heart, and did a little number on my thinking, my reasoning, my theology, my view of who I am and who God is ... a tornado of emotions leaving bits and pieces of new perspectives lying about in my inner most parts that won't let me rest.

Sound dramatic?  Yep.

I think everyday people need a bit of dramatic once in a while.  Dramatic begs us to stop and pay attention.  I like dramatic.  I think God is dramatic.

My Addison played this song for me one day in our kitchen.  I had to sit down at our metal table to let tears quietly slip down my face as the words of the song dripped into my head ... and then landed into my heart.

I think those of us who would call ourselves followers of Jesus struggle.  The struggle is not with the knowledge of what happens to our souls after death.  The struggle is what to do with ourselves during life.  We have been forgiven much.  Our natural tendency is to perform acts of service, based on love, that can repay what we have been given.  Our Christian culture helps feed the fire within us ... not in a misguided or hurtful way ... to "do" things out of gratitude.  "Doing" is not our problem.  We want to "do".  We are good at "doing".  We are measured by what we "do".  We are seen ... and rated ... by how much we "do".  All bad?  Not sure. 

What I am sure of is that I bring that "doing" mindset ... often ... into my moments alone with my Creator.  I get confused by what He wants.  I tend to superimpose my human checklist on my superhuman Father.  I'm not ill-intentioned.  I want to please Him.  I want Him to know how much I love Him.  And then, in a moment of complete truth and honesty ... I get something dramatic.

I get a bit of truth from a 17-year-old at a metal table in my kitchen that realigns my thinking ... and emoting ... to a place of perfect harmony.  God doesn't want my "doing" ... He simply wants ... me.

I love my girls.  I lllllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuvvvvvvvvvvvvv them.  Sometimes, when one of them is in a super touchy mood, and they want me to brush their hair ... or cuddle in their beds ... or get in my "nest" on the couch ("nest" is the place behind my legs when I am all crunched up on the couch ... now only Libby can fit into my "nest") ... I secretly wish they could stay there ... forever.  I don't want that intimate moment to pass by ... especially with my older girls.  Libby is still at the age when cuddling is needed, welcomed and encouraged.  However, as they grow up, those times are few and far between ... often only at the giving in to my begging.

Then, after hearing this song, I get pictures in my mind of God ... the Creator of all life ... desiring me to stay in His "nest" ... a little longer.  Me, my big ol' 44 year-old self ... climbing into His "nest" ... and not giving Him a list of what I've done ... or what I want to do ... or what needs fixing ... or what I am trusting Him for ... or what I am believing He can do ... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .... He just wants me to sit in His "nest" ... a little longer ... because He wants me there.  He can't get enough of me.  This is what puts a smile on His face. 

 Listen to this song ... read the words.  What would life look like ... if we who follow Christ ... knew deep in our heart of hearts ... that these quiet moments are what He desires more of.  Dramatic.  Life would be dramatic.

Now, if you'll excuse me ... I'm gonna go get in my Father's "nest" awhile ...