Under the Wings

I'm a mess.  It's part hormones.  It's part old fashioned tired.  It's part living in the middle of a major life transition.  It's mostly ... all of it wrapped up in a messy package that is called my reality right now.

Chris took our Addie to college for an International Student Orientation.  I will see her tomorrow.  That didn't stop me from bawling like a baby as I stood in the driveway throwing imaginary kisses secretly hoping everyone of them would land in her heart.

I fixed myself a cup of perfect coffee (Austrian, of course) and took it and my melancholy mood to the table that sits in our backyard.  That table has come to be a place of sanctuary.  It's my place.  It's where I meet God.

I didn't want to really talk.  I just needed a word in my innermost heart that is hurting.  I turned to Ruth ... read the following ... and sobbed ... some more:

"May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you."

I closed my book.  I opened up that secret place and just released that flood of emotion that begged to be set free.

Addie is still going to college.  I'm still a mess.  I'm still hormonal, tired, and in the middle of a life transition.  But, today ... in my backyard ... at my table ... I heard from God who just happens to know me better than myself ... who loves me mess and all ... who sees tomorrow ... who's radical plan for my life is to trust Him in the middle of this messiness ... who begs for my heart ... who has remained with me in the past ... who will remain with me every step of my future.  I. heard. from. God.  I. am. under. His. wings.

Today.  That's all I need.