Mourning
After writing three blogs about our nephew's death, it seemed enough. Not necessarily enough for me, but enough for everyone else. We grieve, but don't want to go too far, be too sad too long, be seen as emotionally stuck. What a joke. How do you move on quickly? How does a young girlfriend shut her heart off and cancel dreams of a future with the love of her life? How does a Momma resume normal when she feels like a part of her is missing. I want to write more ... about Stuart, about loss, about grief.
In a recent Facebook post, Stuarts' Momma wrote the following:
This sweet sweet young man. My heart is filled with grief. No mother should ever have to bury her child. ... My life will never be the same and I believe the world won't either. He had big plans. Plans to change the relationship between the US and China, plans to affect the treasury, plans to create an even better military response than currently in effect. There was so much he wanted to accomplish. He had very big dreams. I believe once he settled on his hearts desire he would have worked tirelessly to make it happen. Stuart Spencer was an old soul with incredible intuition in a very young mans body. Lost from this world way too soon. I love you Bubb. To the moon and back a "gabillion" times.Heartbreaking, isn't it? I ran across a great article on mourning (http://www.cancer.org/treatment/treatmentsandsideeffects/emotionalsideeffects/griefandloss/coping-with-the-loss-of-a-loved-one-intro-to-grief-mourning-bereavement). If offers good information and a healthy response to how long this process can/should last.
The truth is those who mourn are expected to resume "normal" as soon as possible. Bills must be paid. Clothes thrown into the dryer. Cars filled up with gas. Death certificates ordered. Job responsibilities carried out. All the while ... mourning.
Be gentle with those who mourn. Notice the sadness in their eyes, that tone in their voice, that slower response to your jokes. They are hurting. They are souls in need of comfort living in busy bodies that must perform. Hold them longer when you say goodbye. Call them more often to just say hello. Text them "I love you's". And if you are a person of faith, pray. Pray for them to mourn and find comfort in Jesus, alone.
Mourning blurs senses. Mourning desires answers. Mourning can bring quilt, loss of sleep, and dependency on things that don't make sense. Pray. Pray that through the hurt - the loss - the believe that this is too incredible to walk through - they will find healing, regain life, and they will walk through. It is my belief that this is only possible through the guidance and love of God. God, a Father who knows the loss of a dear son. God, a Father who cares so tenderly for us, His children, that He carries our grieve. Pray they know this love too great to write about - to vast to describe - too tender to imagine. It can only be experienced. Pray for those who mourn to experience it.
1 comments
I'm praying for your family still. Thank you for your honesty.
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