This morning ... worship

For anyone who knows me well, having time to myself ... to think, write, read, study, ponder, daydream, be still ... is priceless.  I have a loose ritual that I go through to settle my mind and heart.  I usually grab my coffee cup (I have two favorites) and a little notebook that is a bit tattered.  I grab a colored pen (another favorite) and I jot down things that come to my mind that I can truly be thankful for ... a goodnight kiss from my 14 year-old, an irritating email that caused me to trust God more than myself, a surprise phone call and invitation to lunch.  Then, I wander over to a book a dear friend gave me years ago (see above).  It's rare that I want to copy other people's work in my blog, because this forum is all about me ... my work (Sarcastic tone can be inserted here.)  However, this morning, I find the words of author Sarah Young too good to be passed by.  Therefore, feast your eyes ... and if you dare ... your heart on her words from today's entry:

Worship ME only.  Whatever occupies your mind the most becomes your god.  Worries, if indulged, develop into idols.  Anxiety gains a life of its own,parasitically infesting your mind.  Break free from this bondage by affirming your trust in ME and refreshing yourself in MY Presence.  What goes on in your mind is invisible, undetectable to other people.  But I read your thoughts continually, searching for evidence o ftrust in ME.  I rejoice when your mind turns toward ME.  Guard your thoughts diligently; good thought choices will keep you close to ME.

What I adore about the aging process is not the saggy chin - and other body parts - but the wisdom that seems to settle nice and cozy in my brain like a good cup of Java.  I've spent too many years saying I love and worship God ... Creator ... Almighty ... while my behavior said otherwise.  My behavior said I have to plot, plan, worry and research options in my life, run them by God, then move forward hoping for the best.

In this phase of my life, I am trying to assume a position of quietness.  I'm learning to worship - perhaps for the first time - GOD.  God says to trust.  When I do any action based on  my own fear, worry, stress, knowledge ... I am worshipping ... me.  And can I say, it's so easy to worship me?!  I often make more sense!  I often have a plan that can be checked off the list.  I often have something to show for my actions, making me and others impressed.

When I choose to worship God, things get sticky.  He tells me to trust ... to wait ... to be silent ... to not retaliate ... to listen ... to allow Him to work ... to most often do things that make no sense to any other being on planet earth.  It's hard to swallow, this kind of worship.  It often doesn't make me feel good.  It often doesn't make me look good.  And then, that's it ... isn't it.  It doesn't become about me ... it becomes about the object of my worship.

it's not about me ...
christina