Yesterday Chris spoke at a Heilsarmee (Salvation Army) center.  This is not random.  Chris has been helping a German friend of ours (Martin ... pronounced Marteen) every week at the Heilsarmee.  Our friend has a breakfast and Bible study for men who find themselves in need of the services that the Heilsarmee provides.  Chris has been chief bottle washer and bread gatherer.

However, after some time, it was evident that God was doing something with this little band of wounded men.  Martin and Chris approached the director of the center about doing something ... more.  This week, "Brezeln und Bibel" (Preztels and Bible) begins.  Its goal is to gather men for just "hang out time" and approach life and the questions that follow with real answers from the Bible.

Let me backtrack a little and tell you more about the center.  This is a new facility, open only three years, which contains 60 one-room apartments for men.  These men have varied backgrounds:  drugs, alcohol, and mental illness.  However the one common thread that ties these men together is need.  They have lost jobs, families, self-respect and are in need of a place to stay.  The slogan for the Heilsarmee sums up where these men are in life:  "A man may be down, but not out."  Beautiful.

Despite the modern facility and clean floors, dirty men that smelled of tobacco came to the service yesterday as Chris and Martin shared their vision for the program.  The director, a middle-aged woman with a contagious smile and sturdy hands led us in songs.  I was a bit unnerved.  The men sang loud, off-tune, and some spoke under their breath about things that made no sense.  At one point, a man knelt down and wept silent tears as we sang the words of a German hymn I had never sung before.  One man would randomly ask nonsensical questions of the director as she spoke.  She didn't let his rhetoric faze her as she moved the service forward.

Libby was with us. (The older girls were away for the weekend serving a local missions organization as childcare workers.)  As I watched Libby, she was uncomfortable and nerves.  Before the service began, she and I made our way to the bathroom.  Never one to mince words or hide behind her emotions, she let me know she did not want to stay.  "Why do we have to be here?" I wasn't shocked by her expressions of discomfort.  I was feeling them, too.

I was trying to put on a brave face ... a spiritual face ... but in my heart I had elevated myself above these men, their circumstances, and their plights.  Their dirty fingernails and worn faces only added to my hypocrisy.

As I bent down to my Libby in the bathroom, looked her in the eye, the words that exploded from my mouth were words not so much intended for my 9 year-old recipient ... but for me.  I began to explain to her what Jesus did with "these kind of people" ... he loved them.  I began to tell her what Jesus says about the poor and the needy.  If you have a party and invite only those who can invite you back ... what kind of love does that show?  But what if you have a party, and invited the poor ... knowing they can never repay you for your kindness ... that ... that is true ministry ... true love.  I told her that today was an opportunity for us to show Jesus we love him ... by giving of ourselves to those who aren't shown kindness very often.

I took a deep breath before we headed back to the service ... hoping the words I had just spoken inspired not only my precious daughter that was learning a great life lesson today ... but her Momma, too!

As I began to see these men through different eyes, my heart was overwhelmed with gratitude for what I had been given.  I approached a young man with long curly hair and a jacket that was too many sizes too large for his small body.  He was new to the facility.  When I asked him where he was from ... he paused and had to think of his answer.  Later, I found out that this man who looked more like a lost boy had only been there two days.  The director said this was the first time in a very long time that he had his own place to live ... among people.  It would take some time for him to get used to having running water, his own bed, a door that locked, and regular meals.  I prayed that that he would be the poster child for the motto:  A man may be down ... but not out.

Just when I think I am giving God all of my heart, He so graciously allows me to be in a new situation that opens my eyes ... and heart ... to the true condition of my inner self.