What to do with Heartache

Last week I sat in one of my favorite cafes, sipping on a 2.60 euro vanilla latte, and listening to a young friend I mentor - who - by the way - has become more like a daughter - share from her heart.  I love this girl.  She and I share the loss of a mother to illness at young ages.  She and I share a similar world view. I'm young enough to "get" her generation and old enough to speak into it.  As she shared her highs and lows, I considered myself first a German grammar killer and then second a privileged soul for being given the opportunity of walking this journey with my young friend.

Just a few days ago I sat on my leaf printed IKEA clearance chair that sits in my entry way.  (I love this chair.)  As I sat, I listened to my dear sister.  She talked enough that the battery on my phone went dead.  For those of you who know this child, this is not surprising.  However, as she shared exurbs from her life, I knew I was being allowed a secret place in her heart.  The things she shared with me were not for the masses, just a privileged few, and I was one of those who was given entry.

This afternoon, I cried like a baby in my Addison's bedroom.  OK, I will say that I have been under the weather the last few days with some virus.  If you are a girl, you know how you get when you don't feel good.  Emotions kinda sit at the base of your gut waiting to come out ... in tears.  This is the first day I am feeling human and as I sat in Addie's room, I just found myself crying.  My heart is breaking if you must know.  I am already grieving this first great parting among us.  She's still part little girl but mostly part grown-up adult.  I love who she has become.  I see a bright and prosperous future for her.  Yet, I cry.  The ending of a season is fast approaching and all I can see is what I'm loosing.

Heartache is just part of life.  My young friend, my sister, me ... we all experienced some heartache.  The question then becomes ... what do you do with heartache?   It really doesn't matter the size of the heartache ... it hurts the same.  It drives us someplace.  It makes us aware of our frailty ... our humanness.  It keeps us honest with ourselves.  It makes bad hair days seem trivial and real life important.

Now, let me digress a bit and share the following.  This week I sat in a cozy living room on a cold and snowy day telling part of my story to a dear friend.  As I shared my life, the ups the downs, she listened.  After awhile, the clock reminded us that time had not stood still.  Feeling guilty for taking so much of her time with my words, I said, "I'm sorry I shared so much.  Poor you for having to hear it all!".  Then, she said the most profound words I've heard in a long time.  She said ... "Don't apologize.  I am the richer for having heard your story!" Isn't that precious?

This brings me back to the question:  what do you do with heartache?  You have to take it somewhere.  Where you take it determines your outcome.  For over 25 years, I've learned that food, shopping, good friends, writing, and even counselors are not the answer.  Do they help?  You betcha!  However, I've learned that the One who created me ... desires me to share my heartache with Him.  That's still a hard one to swallow!  I still can't believe that the Creator of the Universe is so in love with me that He treasures my words.  I still want to apologize to Him like I did my friend ... for taking up too much time ... for sharing too much.  Yet, I hear Him saying to me ... precious girl ... cast everything my way ... I care for you.

What do YOU do with heartache?