My Daughter

At 27, I was a Mom for the first time.  The first time of anything is unique, isn't it?  It's wrapped with excitement and fear and a bit of freak out and tied in a pretty bow of anticipation.  These were all the feelings captured in my heart upon the first look of my Addison.  I was the chosen one. I was the one she would call Mother.

Now, 19 years later, this is the first time I am a mother to an adult.  This time, too, is wrapped with excitement and fear and a bit of freak out and tied in a pretty box of anticipation.  This little baby has now sprouted wings, along with personality and drive and vision and plans and smarts and looks and a car ... and now a boyfriend.  This person who captured my heart then has now occupied a place within me that can not be explained - only another Mother would understand!  Growing into our adult relationship, I'm discovering the unspeakable joy of having my daughter as my ... friend.

Last night as she chose to celebrate her birthday a day late - to make room for graduation celebrations of others - I just watched her.  She oohed and awed over the finger foods I made for diner, enjoying her favorite little morsels as if they were imports from another land.  I watched as she thanked her sisters for their gifts of jewelry - as she giggled at how each piece looked just like her and thrilled at how well her younger siblings knew her.  I fought back tears and gut producing laughter as the "Mama Mia" soundtrack played and the 3 beauties that I call daughters sat around the table singing every song lyric with passion - and with full comprehension - at the top of their feminine voices. (We've done something right as parents!)

It's these things that I still hide in my heart.  The way her voice sounds when she thanks me for making her favorite cookie cake, the way her eyes sparkle as she sings, the way her body awkwardly dances to the soundtrack.  These are the beautiful things.  These are the things that when I was chosen to be her Mother, were destined to be the things that gave me such unspeakable joy, tears or words can't explain.

Addison.  This is for you.