The circle of life is a strange thing.  Any first - child, goodbye, death, move - brings with them emotions that are dreaded but not experienced as real until they unfolded in whatever "first" life event you experience.

When our oldest child left home for the first time, I thought I would crumble.  The build up to the goodbye was the worst.  I harbored feelings:

• "What is this going to feel like, this leaving of a child from our home?"
• "What is to become of her trying to do life on her own?"
• "What is to become of her siblings trying to live life without her?"

And when I wasn't imagining what feelings would emerge I was feeling emotions:

• this is the last First time I will pack her lunch
• this is the last First time I will watch her play volleyball
• this is the last First time she'll sleep in her childhood bed

She left our home four years ago.  I survived.  Her siblings survived.  It wasn't without tears and longing ... but we all got through it.  And now we are gearing up for another departure among us.

Parker is living out her last year of high school and preparing to fly the coop!  Just as with Addison, we mark her events as the "last" Firsts.

• Last first day of school
• Last first volleyball game
• Last first Fall break

This time it's easier.  We know - sort of - what to expect.  We know emotions will come and pass.  We know that we will all survive.  We know that life goes on and God is real in the middle of the last Firsts and we ... move forward.

I find myself getting "homesick" for the days when my girls were little.  There was something so sweet about the tracing of little hands to make Thanksgiving Turkey's, the packing of lunches that included love notes, and the tucking in of little bodies under warm covers.

Moving forward requires moving on from what was to a new place that has its own advantages.  I will always treasure the "little" days.  But I am learning to always welcome the new days.  And ...  in this particular season with Parker ... I'm embracing the "last" Firsts.

Hold on tightly ... and loosely ... for the days slip of out fingers faster than you think,
Christina